Uncovering Pamela
Learning To Live After Losing A Person

The Vacuum Lady Got Revenge

March 12th, 2010 by Pamela

Okay, before you start thinking that that is really what I call her, I really don’t. Not even in my head. That wouldn’t be nice. But for the sake of tonight’s post, that is what I’ll call her.
I’ve mentioned that I work nights. Well, sometimes we might have a bit of down time, or on breaks, I’ll go for a walk or wander around the building. Sometimes for the exercise, sometimes just to be able to stand up for a bit!
First, while there are others that work nights with us, the building can still be kind of quiet and I accidentally scared the crap out of this woman one night as she was vacuuming.

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Carrying the Banner (or a bit of lightheartedness)

March 11th, 2010 by Pamela

After the soul-sharing I did earlier, I decided this post would be a bit of lighthearted insanity.

Sometimes, I get really excited about things that I like.  I can be kind of like a little kid on Christmas morning or a puppy greeting her master after a long absence (without the peeing on the carpet, thank God).

First, they’ve released the second sample chapter from Jim Butcher’s new book, “Changes.”  I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Last weekend, I decided to break out a couple of my favorite movies.  You all know that I adore movies.  I’m not the critic that analyzes every last detail and judges with a critical eye (well, not always), so I usually just try to allow myself to go with the flow and enjoy the movie – see where it takes me.  Sometimes I fall in love (Mansfield Park, Big Eden, Kung Fu Panda, Shelter, Grumpy Old Men (which was my brother’s and my movie), among so many others), sometimes I see something so terrible I can’t help but laugh (Shadow Puppets), and sometimes it’s just downright god-awful terrible (Smiley Face, I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With).

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What to Write. . .What to Write

March 10th, 2010 by Pamela

So often is the case that a person has writer’s block and can’t think of a darn thing to say.  (That happens to me anyway.)  Tonight, I have the exact opposite problem.  I’ve actually had this problem for a while now and I blame my anxiety issues for it.  I feel like my brain is running (why can’t my body follow?) in a million different directions at once and can’t stop to settle on any one idea – because, well, there are a million more out there to consider!

Sometimes this is fun, sometimes not so much.  When it comes to putting out a coherent thought, my mouth (or fingers) just can’t keep up. 

There are a couple of things I wanted to share with you:

This absolutely amazing postover at The Tippy Toe Diet.  It sums up a lot of the things I learned myself over the past few years.  I’ve written before about how I was an all-or-nothing girl when I lost the 160 pounds.  BIG mistake.  Big, BIG mistake.  In fact, I partially blame that for the fact that I’ve now regained 80.  I’ve also been a big advocate of taking baby steps when trying to change your life.  Another thing she mentions is having fun with weight loss.  I think this is one of the most important things.  When I joined WW, I had so much fun figuring out just how much food I could cram into my points allowance.  It was like a jigsaw puzzle of quantity eating.  When I stopped having fun with it, I started gaining.

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Another “Lbs.” Movie Update

March 10th, 2010 by Pamela

Hi all!  Just a quick post to give you a few new tidbits about “Lbs. the Movie.”

First, if you’re on Facebook, head over to this page to become a fan.  Their most recent post recommends contacting The Village East (if you’re in the NY area) to find out when tickets will be available for “Lbs.”    (212) 529-6998     OR   village.east@readingrdi.com.  I believe the premier is still set for the 26th.

I also found this video that contains an interview with the writer and star, Carmine Famiglietti.  I’m not sure when it was done, but it was obviously a while ago based on the fact that they’re asking him if he’s finished writing the ending of the movie.  :)

And as always, here’s a link to my thoughts on the movie.

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Weigh-in 3/9/10 – “Hell Yeah!”

March 9th, 2010 by Pamela

Sorry for the quick post today. Thing have been crazy at work and our internet connection was down at home last night. Hopefully everything will be back up and running tonight.

I wanted to share my weigh in with you, though! I lost 3.3 pounds! That means I dropped out of a decade that I definitely didn’t want to be in. Not that I really want to be in the one I’m in now, but it’s better than the alternative!
I’ve also now lost 10.4 pounds since the end of January!

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Squish Squish

March 8th, 2010 by Pamela

Is the sound of me kicking ass this weekend.  :)

Not only did I stay perfectly within my points both Saturday and Sunday, but I went walking both days.  The weather was beautiful – sun shining and warm, the wind cool.  We could actually see a bit of blue sky – with some puffy white clouds.

It didn’t rain, but the mud was out in full force – hence the “squish, squish.”

There’s even a bit of green starting to peek out!

Some old friends made a reappearance – I’m sure they’re quite glad to be rid of the snow:

It was nice to see the waterfalls active again.  This one was fascinating to me, because of the pebbly growths on the rocks:

There’s this area for kids that has a field of switchgrass.  It was so peaceful to stand in the middle of it and listen to the wind whisper through it:

For some reason, the lake was really, really low – it may have been due to some construction they were doing, but it was kind of interesting checking out the bottom in some of the more shallow areas:

Along the banks that have apparently worn away over the years, there are these trees hanging on for dear life by their roots.  I’m fascinated by them and think they’re beautiful.  Perhaps I identify a bit (with the hanging on for dear life part).

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Progress Pictures Are a Bad Thing

March 6th, 2010 by Pamela

Progress pictures (see link in toolbar above) are a bad, bad thing to look at at 3:38am when you’ve regained 80 pounds.

I look at that girl who lost 160 pounds (that girl in the picture to the right) and I can barely even remember what she felt like.

Yeah, there just aren’t words for this feeling (anger, depression, sadness, anxiety, fear, shame don’t even come close) and a few tears might be involved.

But I’m allowing myself this moment and accepting that these feelings are absolutely useless to me right now.

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Little Words

March 4th, 2010 by Pamela

I’ve long been a believer in the power of words.  Words fascinate me and have always held me in their grip.  Words are just syllables built from letters that are just marks on a page or screen.  But what can be accomplished (or destroyed) by putting those words, syllables, letters, marks in a particular order is simply amazing to me.  The possibilities are limitless.

While we often have grand dreams of putting together that perfect sentence that changes everything, the world, and the universe beyond, sometimes it’s the little words that can mean so much more.

I care.

I understand.

I’m here.

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Link Love

March 3rd, 2010 by Pamela

I’ve been trying to catch up on my blog reading, both blogs I’ve been following for a long time (sad to see how many no longer post) and new (to me) blogs.

Over the past few days I’ve come across a few posts that particularly resonated with me and I wanted to share links to them.  So here they are in no particular order:

  • Bye, Bye Beck and Other Realizations by PastaQueen.  Funny, because I’ve had the Beck book sitting completely untouched for many, many, many months now.  A little sad, because while unlike her I’m not happy with where I’m at,  she sums up exactly how I feel about running into people who haven’t seen me since I was at my low weight.
  • Can Victoria’s Secret Help You Love Your Body? over at We Are the Real Deal.  Very interesting article.  I am one that will never be able to shop there – not because they have never carried my size, but even when I was at my lowest weight, I couldn’t because of extra skin issues (TMI, I know), so I totally understood where the author is coming from.  And the whole thing about women loving their bodies is great, but like the author also said, if that’s their goal, why are they talking about what they love about male bodies in the video she links to?
  • I’m pretty.  pissed. by Brene Brown.  Her blog is always a fantastic read, but this one is great to remind us that everyone is entitled to share their opinion without being smacked with an unnecessary cruel response.  I think that the thing that makes me saddest in this world is the cruelty I see on the ‘net every day.  Seriously, what is wrong with people?  I choose to keep my authenticity and share my opinions.  If you don’t agree with me, I’m happy to hear it.  But I declare this a cruelty-free zone (whether responding to me or someone else), and luckily, I’ve never had to boot a comment for it.  I think #2 on her list really hit me as it’s something I’ve struggled with throughout my life.
  • My Core Hurt Eating – A MUST Read for those that Overeat by Roni.  I haven’t had a chance to read through the articles she links to just yet, but am looking forward to it.
  • Kelly over at Pounds for Prom mentioned the movie, “Fat:  What No One is Telling You” a while back and I watched it a couple of weeks ago on Netflix.  Very interesting movie.  Don’t agree with everything that is said in it (especially from one woman who is constantly about to fall out of her top as she works out), but I love that they have scientists that discuss how it’s not always a lack of willpower that can explain the hold that food can have over us.
  • Hot Guys Turned Food:  Christian Bale by Tony the Pink Panda.  Just ’cause it’s fun and I love Christian Bale (even with his recent crazy-like behavior).  I myself can’t speak as to how true this comparison is since I’ve never had Rocky Road ice cream.
  • Late Night Snacks by Tony (a/k/a The Anti-Jared).  A very unique way to avoid late time snacking (that cracked me up).
  • Something a Little Different by Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit.  Best.

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Posted in Life in General having 4 comments »

How I Spent My Evening

March 3rd, 2010 by Pamela

When I got off work last night, I decided to make some meals for the remainder of the week (kind of like I did the Sunday before last), but this time I thought I’d share some pics.

I first mixed up a batch of one of my favorite go-to *EASY* recipes: Mexican Corn Bake.  I can’t remember where I got the recipe from, but I think someone posted it on the WW message boards once upon a time.  I’ve been making this for a couple of years now.  Click here for the recipe.

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About Uncovering Pamela

On June 5, 2006, I began my weight loss journey. Now, over a year later, I have lost enough weight to equal an entire person. I still have a bit left to lose, but am already struggling with the ways in which my life has changed. This is my journey. Thank you for visiting!

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