Contrary to my last several posts, I am not always happy-go-lucky, cheerful Pamela. I know, I know, it comes as a HUGE shock to you, doesn’t it? I hope none of you passed out from the news.
In fact, again contrary to my post of Tuesday, my mood over the past couple of days can only be described as foul. I’ve done my best to keep it from affecting other people, and most of my attitude (except for when directed towards stupid people – and then only internally) has been directed back towards myself.
It’s not so much that I’ve [ ... ]
02
Sep 2010
Contrary to my last several posts, I am not always happy-go-lucky, cheerful Pamela. I know, I know, it comes as a HUGE shock to you, doesn’t it? I hope none of you passed out from the news.
In fact, again contrary to my post of Tuesday, my mood over the past couple of days can only be described as foul. I’ve done my best to keep it from affecting other people, and most of my attitude (except for when directed towards stupid people – and then only internally) has been directed back towards myself.
It’s not so much that I’ve [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
One Comment
31
Aug 2010
Today was weigh in day and I was pleased to see that I am down another 1.7 pounds! For those of you crazy kids keeping track at home, that marks a loss two weeks in a row!! This is the first time that has happened since the beginning of July.
I confess that I am still not tracking. I know that on some days I go WAY over my points. I know that on other days, I am probably WAY under my points. I absolutely cannot explain what I’m doing or how I’m doing it. I’m mostly eating when I need [ ... ]
Category: Weigh-Ins
7 Comments
30
Aug 2010
In my efforts lately to live a more bold, authentic, and whole-hearted life, I woke up one day with yet another impulse to “let the cat out of the bag” as far as my blog is concerned.
This may surprise you, because I’ve often written before about how I sometimes wish that no one I’m close with in my “real life” knew about my blog. I’ve mentioned that sometimes it makes me question how open I want to be about things. It’s hard letting yourself be this vulnerable and this open.
Unfortunately, I happened to mention this impulse on Twitter and ended [ ... ]
Category: Life in General
8 Comments
26
Aug 2010
I can’t believe that I almost forgot about the blog post idea that the darling, wonderful Rebecca gave me. She said:
Is there a weight at which you feel comfortable in your own skin, but your weight is still not embraced by much of *society*? I’m asking because I hit that weight about a month ago, and was VERY suprised to feel so good about it. I am still freakin’ obese! I DON”T CARE! I mean, I know that the thinner I get, the better my chances for getting hired in my field (health care). Yet [ ... ]
Category: Weight Watchers / Weight Loss
4 Comments
26
Aug 2010
You may want to get comfy – kick back, relax – this is going to be a long one.
For the past many, many years, I remembered a friend of mine once said something along the lines of “women are at their best in their 30s.” I’ve always held that in the back of my mind, and when I turned 30, I decided that that was going to be the case for me. I was going to do my best to make them the best freaking years of my life.
I’ve mentioned many times that I’ve been shut down for [ ... ]
Category: Life in General, Psychology
3 Comments
23
Aug 2010
Thank you all so much for all of the supportive comments and messages I’ve received. You all are WONDERFUL. That’s all I have to say. That and thank you thank you thank you. I’m still freaked, and am sure I will be even more freaked tomorrow, but right now, I’m doing okay. I’m doing some deep breathing as some of you suggested and am trying to visualize pushing the fear out. Also repeating I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. LOL
If things go well tomorrow (please god let them go well), I’m going to have [ ... ]
Category: Life in General, Victories
8 Comments
23
Aug 2010
Okay, I’m probably going to regret this post in the morning, but I’m seriously starting to freak out over Step 2 in my Project Phobia. It’s 12:15 am right now and my heart is racing, my fingers are trembling, and I’m about on the verge of tears.
And I feel like I complete idiot. This is so humiliating.
I’ve planned for step 2 to take place tomorrow (Tuesday) morning sometime. Yes, I actually plan on being out of bed. Lord help me not chicken out. I keep cycling through phases of – this is no. big. deal. Just do it. – and [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
9 Comments
22
Aug 2010
I was grocery shopping today and decided that I wanted to risk having cheese in the house. When I got to the cheese aisle, I immediately headed towards my favorite cheese as of late. Cabot’s 75% Reduced Fat Sharp Cheddar Cheese. I’m all about the sharp cheddar, so when I found this and discovered that it actually tastes good, you know I fell in love. Now, if they came out with a 75% Reduced Fat Reduced Sodium kind then screw love, I’d be in lust.
Every time I’ve bought this particular brand of cheese, it’s always been [ ... ]
Category: Food
2 Comments
20
Aug 2010
Phobias suck. They really really suck.
I should know. I’ve had one for more than 20 years. For those 20 years it has plagued me….shadowing my every footstep. Luckily, it was one that I didn’t come into contact with on a day-to-day basis, but when it did or when I started thinking about having to face it, then well, I would pretty much shut down. If I didn’t, I’d end up in a fetal position crying for my mommy.
No, I’m not going to name it here. And no it’s not spiders (oh how I wish it were).
But I am [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
2 Comments
19
Aug 2010
The other day, I put out a request for any questions that you guys might have about me or what I think or anything that you would like to see me blog about. I received this in an email:
In one of your Aug posts, you asked if anyone had questions. I’m new to the blog so you may have already covered this.
Noticed you got down to ~179 but then gained almost 90 lbs back to ~268. Now you’re on the way back down (well done). Wondering whether when you’re on the heavy side or slim side, [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
8 Comments
19
Aug 2010
So I’ve posted several times about being afraid that I didn’t deserve progress photos since I’m working my way down the scale a second time. But you know what? Screw that! I’m ignoring my previous progress photos and enjoying this like it’s my first time all over again (just a little smarter, having learned a few things on the last go-round).
I don’t really have any photos of me at my highest – that I’m sure of anyway, because frankly, I never weighed myself until I got my scale the week I joined Weight Watchers. And at that point, *gasp* I [ ... ]
Category: Victories
9 Comments
17
Aug 2010
Okay….if you’re a man, look away! Quick!
This post is going to be all girly, so you may just want to stop reading now. I mean, I’m going to delve into the world of shopping and *unmentionables*
Still here? Okay, don’t say you weren’t warned!
As my weight starts drifting down the scale again, I think one of the best perks is that my clothing options are opening up again. Any woman (or man for that matter) who has struggled with their weight knows what a terrifying struggle it can be sometimes in finding clothes that fit and that [ ... ]
Category: Clothes
4 Comments
17
Aug 2010
Well, today was weigh-in day. Sadly, though I was showing a loss last Thursday, I was up a bit (0.8 lb to be exact) on the scale today. But you know what? I’m totally happy with that! I had a good week – spent time with friends and family and enjoyed myself. And the fact that I was pretty much able to maintain my weight while doing it? Hallelujah! And I’m still not really tracking – just kind of doing it in my head when I can. I think I’m really starting to learn about myself and how I need [ ... ]
Category: Weigh-Ins
3 Comments
16
Aug 2010
Hi folks! I hope you all had a fabulous week.
Overall, mine was pretty good. I had a few low moments – a few things that are bothering me kind of snuck up on me here and there, but I also had a lot of fun.
First, TEDxKC was Thursday night. I met some friends beforehand at the Nelson Art Gallery (where TEDx was held) and since we were there early, we walked around checking things out for a bit before TEDx started. We first hit the room with the real mummy and then looked at some of the ancient artifacts, after [ ... ]
Category: Brene Brown, Life in General
3 Comments
12
Aug 2010
Okay, so this is going to be super short, because frankly, I’m kind of tired.
I had a good night. Met some great new people, had some fun with some old-er friends and GOT TO MEET BRENE BROWN! And even better, she recognized me before I said anything!
Okay, so the full story/scoop will come tomorrow. But had to share my excitement! (Not the most flattering pic of me, but it was a great, exciting moment!):
Category: Brene Brown
One Comment
Allyson
Rebecca
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