I visited some really good out-of-town friends a couple of weekends ago and had a really wonderful time. It’s hard to live so far away from them. But while I was there, one of my friends noticed a habit that I have, of crossing my arms. I stand with my arms crossed. I sit with my arms crossed. I walk, at times, with my arms crossed.
I know body language. I’ve studied it, had classes in it at work, etc. I know that it portrays someone that is closed off to whoever s/he is talking to and appears unapproachable. But it’s not something I believe is true about me and it is actually something I’d noticed about myself a couple of days before she mentioned it.
Why do I do it? I don’t set out to cross my arms; it just kind of happens. And I think there are a couple of reasons.
1. I think that it’s partly my unconscious mind trying to protect myself. It’s like a defense mechanism, cradling my own body. I’ve been attacked so many times (verbally, emotionally), particularly when I was younger, that I guess my mind fears it happening yet again.
2. When you’ve been overweight for as long as I have, and as overweight as I was, you’re constantly looking for ways to consume a smaller area of space. Perhaps I’m still trying to do this. In a way, I guess, to fold in on myself and be less noticeable or hide myself.
3. I’m such a klutz and so uncoordinated that I really just don’t know what to do with my arms, hands. It just feels awkward to stand there with my arms at my sides. Also, I talk with my hands….a lot. Perhaps my mind is also trying to tone this down a bit.
Who knows, really, why I do it. There could be other reasons that I’m not aware of. But I’ve made an attempt every time I catch myself crossing my arms to force myself to put my arms down at my side, or in my pockets, or something. But, like everything else in my life, it’s a work in progress.
