I’m a complete mixed bag of nuts, er, emotions this evening.
- I’m glad work has slowed down somewhat for the evening – not as many people bugging us.
- I’m thrilled that tomorrow is Friday.
- I’m excited about the possibility of seeing some good friends in a few weeks.
- I’m concerned about weigh-in next week since I’ve been slacking on the exercise this week.
- I’m determined to exercise when I get home from work.
- I’m feeling sick from antibiotics (four more days).
- I’m sad that it’s still okay to make fun of overweight people (more later).
- I’m proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished.
- I’m happy with where I’m at health-wise, even if some others don’t agree that I should be.
- I’m nervous about several things.
- Etc., etc., etc.
There’s obviously a lot going on in my head tonight.
In reference to the comment about how it’s still apparently okay to make fun of overweight people, I was thinking of a book that I am reading. Nora Roberts has been one of my favorite authors for many years now, but often, she will sneak in little jabs or jokes about overweight people. Since I adore her books other than that, I try to ignore it and forget it and just go on to the next line or page.
I’m currently reading her new book, “Tribute,” and while it kind of got off to a slow start, it has really picked up speed and I’m really enjoying it. That is, until I read a certain scene right before I went to bed last night that kind of irked me. I mean, I didn’t get full-blown angry, or really upset about it, as it really isn’t that big of a deal. It just felt like another tiny pinprick stab in my gut.
In the scene, the main character and her love interest are about to, um….you know. But the timing isn’t the best. So he lets her know what he’s thinking about to calm himself down. He’s picturing this girl that he knew in elementary school, I think. Among attributes such as she was mean, and ugly, and beat him up, Nora describes her as being as “big as a battleship.” And then when telling the main character exactly what he pictures at times like that, he says he remembers her “jupiter-sized face” and that does it.
As I said, it’s not that big of a deal – the girl did beat him up - and I’m being overly sensitive, but when describing the characteristic that cools him off like a cold shower, it is her “Jupiter-sized face.” I know that the sense of hatred for this girl and the cooling factor was more from the fact that she beat the crap out of him and was mean, but still. Why is it okay?
And my friends wondered why I could never see myself as pretty when it’s still so easy to joke about using the mere thought of an overweight person to shut down sexual feeling.
It kind of makes me wonder what I would have done in that situation. If I’d been the main character. How would I have said, “Hmmm…I used to have Jupiter-sized face.” And would I have been able to overlook such a comment to continue a relationship with an otherwise extremely decent man? Hopefully, I’ll never have to find out what I would do.
Pamela – I think most people that have never walked in our shoes just can’t relate to how hurtful comments like that can be to those of us that have had weight issues (and still do because those issues never really go away). A few people do understand, but in my experience those people are rare.
Although I cut them a some slack because they just don’t know better (like you do with Nora Roberts), I still don’t like it.
However, I imagine when you get married, you will marry one of those rare people. The kind that is sensitive and undertanding, and would never say or even think something so utterly stupid.
Question – who doesn’t think you should be happy where you are health wise? Tell me and I’ll go slap them up side the head for you. Of course you should be happy, you’ve lost over 160 pounds and have drastically change your health for the better. What idiots would think otherwise?
I agree with Diana 100%. And as far as number 2, I have her back. Let us find that person and see what happens! ;o)