I think I should officially have my name changed to the Human Yo-Yo. Unfortunately, it’s not actually as fun as it sounds. I’ve been in a bad, bad place the past few weeks. I think I just reached the point where all of the things I’d been worrying about and stressing over came to a head and pretty much took over. Okay, I have to accept responsibility in that I obviously handed over control at some point.
Again, I did get a lot of exercise this week, at least more than is normal for me, but food-wise, I blew it. Completely. Every day of my long weekend got off to a great start. I had sensible breakfasts and lunches and then by dinnertime all control had drifted into the wind. It began on Friday with Papa John’s. Yum. The sad thing is that that is the last thing that I ate that I really remember enjoying.
I debated strongly with myself about skipping weigh-in today. I honestly thought I would. I then decided that I needed to see how bad the damage actually was, so I stepped on the scale with the sole intention of keeping it to myself and telling you all that I skipped my official weigh-in. Then I decided to fess up. I gained 4.9 pounds this week. Again.
I think that there is a great plethora of issues going on with me that is causing this lack of control. I think it’s everything from the stress and worry I mentioned, the stupid Metformin I’m on, boredom with the things I eat, among about a gazillion other things that I won’t go into now.
Before I started Weight Watchers, feeling terrible about myself was almost a daily occurrence. Every time I ate, no matter how much or how little I ate, it was usually accompanied by feelings of disgust with myself and sometimes actual hate. Oh, the things I used to tell myself. Last night was the closest I’ve come to starting to feel those things again in over two years and it made me sad and scared.
I’ve been a big talker about needing to get back on track and take control. I guess it’s time to put my money where my mouth is (or, I guess, more appropriately would be my food not where my mouth is). I wish, though, that weight loss was merely an act of willpower. It really isn’t for most people. It’s a lifelong battle with experiences, addiction, emotions, etc.
While it’s not a battle that can ever be completely won for me, it’s a battle that I’m determined to at least rejoin.
Please don’t give up on me, because I’m not going to give up on myself.
Just keep in mind, a bad weekend is not going to ruin two years of hard work and dedication. Just remember what is the most important aspect of it for you! You will always have stressful days, and times, but if you have the courage to limit yourself or say no, like you have for the last two years, you will be fine. Theantijared believes in you!!!
It’s okay Pamela, you’ll do this. Remember, I gained six pounds a few weeks ago. It was a very rude awakening and scary, but it made me realize I have to be serious about this, all the time.
I think we get sort of comfortable and think well, I look okay, let our guard down for a moment and then before we know it we’re back to our old habits. It’s crazy and hard to deal with, but at least you’re aware of what’s happening and you know what to do to fix it.
About getting bored with your food – me too! Lately I’ve just been sick to death of chicken breasts, and my favorite breakfast sandwich I was making – yuk. So I’ve been trying new recipes, eating differently and it’s really helped.
Hang in there, I know you’ll be okay.
Hi Pamela, I am in the same nightmare as you this week, I too had healthy brekkys, sometimes a healthy lunch, but in the evenings I blew it, and once started i didnt stop! It was Wi for me this morning and I gained 5lbs! It was definitely a kick in the teeth, but also the wake up call that I needed, I went from 10st 9, to 11 stone, noooooooooooo I didnt want to go back into the 11s how cruel is that! Lets just hope for both of us it is a temporary gain, we couldnt have possibly have gained that in fat surely! Good luck
Thank you all so much. You’ve definitely lifted my spirits. I’m sure without you, I would have given up long ago. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
Hugs to you all and especially to those who are struggling right along with me!