The breaking news is that I’m actually determined to count my points tomorrow for the first time in God knows how many weeks. I don’t care how stark-raving mind-flippingly hungry I may get. As an example, I was just sitting here and my stomach was so growly that it was talking to me and everyone else around me. Not five seconds would pass between rumbles. It’s ridiculous!
And if you want to talk about ridiculous, let’s talk about my peek at the scale today! 12 pounds!! I’m up 12 POUNDS! From two weeks ago! TWO. WEEKS. 12 pounds in two weeks. I’m stunned and disgusted.
I can really feel those 12 pounds, too, believe me. Jennette (PastaQueen) wrote a blog post recently that sums up how I’m feeling right now. It discusses regaining a bit of weight after losing a lot. She mentions how on the way down the scale, you compare yourself to the version of you that you saw at your highest weight, but if you start regaining even a tiny bit, then you compare yourself to the smallest version of you that you know. It’s so true. I feel huge in comparison to how I felt two weeks ago, even though I’m still about 150 pounds less than where I was two years ago. It’s nuts.
I’ve posted before about my fear of regaining my weight back and the past couple of weeks have shown me just how easy it is to slip into old habits regardless of the reason. Medication, stress, injuries, slacking, etc. Even if you let it slide a tiny bit, it’s entirely too easy to let it become a freefall. Except that freefall is a really a rapidly expanding balloon. Which is kind of how I feel at the moment actually. I keep expecting my skin and clothing to turn purple and for someone to show up behind me to roll me down the hallway. You really have to be hypervigilant at all times. At least I apparently do.
So, tomorrow is the day. Nothing will enter my mouth unless it has been tracked. I’m sure when I open my online points tracker that it will be probably cop an attitude like my Wii Fit tends to do when I’ve avoided it for a while: “well, look who it is!” I honestly don’t remember the last time I opened it. I’ll let you know what happens tomorrow. Hopefully it’ll be good news.
The GOOD news is that you have caught this at 12 pounds instead of 120. When I was 16, I went on Nutri/System (back when they had centers) and lost 115 lbs by the time I turned 17. I kept it off for a good year but then when I was in college, well, the beer and pizza… and this was back in the late 80s, early 90s and stirrup pants and BIG sweatshirts were in. I remember thinking “If ONLY I had been aware that I was regaining the weight sooner..”
So, the GOOD news for you is that you know what to do and you’ve caught it early.
I’m going to say it again…I love your attitude! It says a lot to be able to joke about this when we all realize how hard this is for you. Good for you for looking at the positive and making light of such a serious situation. Love the purple picture! lol
I am positive you will get back on track. You have come so far. Just be patient. Even though it really sucks that it comes back on so darn easy, but it’s hell to get off. Is anyone ever going to figure out why? Then again, never mind, it probably still wouldn’t make us feel any better. lol