Thy name is Karen.
Bitch doesn’t even begin to describe her. She is the office manager of my dentist’s office. God, I can’t stand the woman. I apologize now for my venting and language but I’ve had it. I just got home from my dentist’s appointment to have him check out my broken crowns and spent the drive home in tears, practically hyperventilating, because of this damn woman.
Every single time I go in there she talks down to me and tries to make me feel so little. She is extremely condescending. (Which is my BIGGEST pet peeve). It’s hard to explain, but she makes it feel like you should be grateful that they even allow you to step foot in their office. Even today, right after I got there, she was trying to make me feel grateful that they could even fit me in. Hello? Broken crowns (plural)? Dentists have to fit in unexpected patients all the time. I was grateful, of course, but she didn’t need to act like that.
The dentist said that the problem with my crowns is that I apparently clench my teeth. I’m sure he’s right. I was so concerned about how I was going to pay for these crowns since they were no longer under warranty. He told me that he had a new material that is twice as strong as what was used on the crowns that broke and when he said that, I joked “yeah and twice as expensive.” He said no, he’d take care of me. So he’s not going to charge me! Hallelujah! You can’t imagine how relieved I was. Since I really do not have extra funds right now. He’s also going to do some kind of computer test thing on my bite to see where it’s getting thrown off so that they can adjust it.
So I should have been on cloud nine walking out of his office, right? Yeah, right. First I had to pass through her. The dentist had asked if I could come in Friday afternoon and I said, “sure, I think so.” When I got to her, she mentioned 2:30. I immediately thought about work – the work that I have to be at at 4:30 – the work of which I have almost no vacation time left. So I simply asked if she had any idea how long it might take since I had to be at work at 4:30. OMG that totally set her off on a five minute rant about how “he’s not charging you even though this is out of warranty, and you need to call and tell them you’ll be late, and since he’s doing this you need to work around his schedule, etc., etc., etc.” Without letting me get a word in edgewise. And oh, it got worse. At one point she even said, “not to be a meanie, but…” What the hell??
Oh and I missed one appointment once and she’s never let me forget it, either. She has no idea how truly grateful I am that he’s willing to do this and that he made me feel better by saying it would be an easy fix, but she treated me as though I was some bum off the street asking for handouts without a thank you.
I’ll admit it. I’m not good in confrontation and I’m usually so stunned in the situation that I end up not saying anything. It’s later that I think, “I should have said this or that.” And when people make me mad, I cry. It’s silly and ridiculous, but there it is. I’m still in tears thinking about it.
But I’ve had it. So when I go in on Friday, I’m going to ask my dentist if he has a moment to chat with me privately or if I could make an appointment to do so (hopefully bypassing her). I’m going to explain to him that I love him as a dentist and love his hygienists/assistants (whatever they’re called now), but I may be looking for a new dentist because of her.
Do you guys think I’m justified in doing so? Is there a better way to handle it? I’ve had it. I don’t deserve to be treated like a five year old every time I go in there – not even a five year deserves to be treated like this.
Oh, and totally off subject, but I was up a pound at weigh-in yesterday. I’m definitely okay with it as it could have been worse. Perhaps I’ve got maintaining down. I was down a pound last week, and up a pound this week.
totally switch. you are the customer. its the dentist’s fault for hiring crappy help
You’re TOTALLY justified to voice your concerns about the staff to the dentist. I can’t believe she’s in a job that requires her to interact with patients. She should be in a back room somewhere not talking to ANYONE. (And, BTW — I totally react like you. With tears and becoming speechless. Until later when I think of TONS of perfect comebacks.)
I’m so sorry you had to go through that with the secretary at the dentist’s office. I have a similar woman at my son’s Orthodontist. What I do now is kill her with kindness yet I’m firm in what I say to her so she realizes now she can’t get to me. I go in and talk to her like I’m the boss especially since I’m the one paying 5k+ for my son’s braces. We pay them for a service and though the dentist isn’t making you pay this time you sure have paid in the past. So I wouldn’t go to the dentist I would just be firm but nice with this woman and if it comes to you having to have words with her then have them. I just hate bullies. *hugs*
in an ideal world, shouldn’t you only see this person twice a year? seems hardly worth it to possibly get someone fired because you don’t like dealing with them two times a year. why not say something to her directly if it bothers you so much?
Yes, Shawna, in an ideal world I would only have to see her twice a year, but as we’ve established, my life is less than ideal. I don’t particularly want to get her fired, I just want her to start treating their paying customers (and in effect, as Dawn said, the people paying her salary) with respect. I’m sure I’m not the only one she treats this way.
Now that I’ve calmed down, I doubt I will say anything to the dentist unless it keeps happening, but if she does it again, I am going to ask her to stop talking to me like that.
Thank you to all of you who gave your support! I appreciate it! This was just the topper to a miserable week.
You are well within your rights to complain to the dentist but I’d say something to her first. In a very even tone, say something like this: “Do you realize how unpleasant and disrespectful you come across?” Then just wait, don’t smile, don’t respond when she defends herself. You will feel good. She won’t push you around after that. Be assertive in a tactful way.
“I’m not good in confrontation and I’m usually so stunned in the situation that I end up not saying anything. It’s later that I think, “I should have said this or that.” And when people make me mad, I cry. It’s silly and ridiculous, but there it is.”
That’s me too!
Absolutely talk to him about it! He’s in a service industry and should have competent, friendly people working for him, not power-hungry pitbulls. If his staff are making him look bad, he should know about it.
I totally react as you…well, not so much anymore – age is good for a few things. LOL
My OB had a nurse like that…she totally had me running scared – and when you are pregnant every other year, you have to see your OB a lot more than 2 times a year!
A friend of mine went to the same doctor. She seemed to have a good relationship with this nazi woman….so with her advise on how to handle “Greta”, I changed my approach….Instead of letting myself be afraid of her acidic personality, I treated her as a friend. I smiled, I chatted, and I did not let her push me around. Suddenly, she was not so ‘witchy’ and she even smiled once or twice! Sadly, this was toward the end of my last pregnancy, so I didn’t get to enjoy the change for long.
My advise…Listen to Dawn. Often the most aggressive people respond the worst to those who are ‘afraid’ of them. If Dawn’s methods don’t work, for sure let the dentist know that his receptionist is going to cost him some clients – but I would be careful not to let it sound like a threat.
BTW….your dentist sounds like he is worth going through the wicked witch to get to him! Not charging you? In my book, usually dentists LOOK for ways to charge you more money! Hang on to this guy!
What a BITCH? I can’t stand people like this. She’s acting like she’s having to schedule your appointment for free. Does she not realize that is her job and that is why she gets a paycheck? And you know what, if your speaking up gets her fired, then so be it! She needs to learn how to speak to people. [Deep breath] Okay, I’m better now. lol
Seriously, I’ve told Diana this before – you and I are so much alike, it’s scary.
) I would have reacted the exact same way you did.
And I agree, if she continues to make you feel this way, then the dentist needs to know. I would definitely mention it to him in private. As nice as he seems, I’m sure he is not paying her to be rude to his clients.
Good luck Pamela.