As I suspected, I am up 1.5 pounds this week. Granted, it is quite a bit less than the gazillion pounds I was expecting, but it’s still not great.
I’m honestly not sure what to do with myself. I’m not sure how to get back on the wagon. It’s so easy to just say “just do it,” and that’s probably what the me of two years ago would have told the current me, but it’s not that easy.
I feel as though when the thought of food crosses my mind (or my line of sight), the rational part of my brain just completely shuts down.
I have moments during the day when I’m filled with motivation and determination and I think, “no problem. I’m going to get right back on track.” But then, at some later time, that ravenous feed-me monster rears its ugly head. All conscious thought departs. I think I need an exorcism.
I know I can do this. I have done this. I just need to learn how to put the brakes on my backward slide. I have been eating a lot of good-for-me things (my work meals are almost completely healthy now), but I’ve also been eating a lot of not-so-good-for-me things. That adds up. But I can’t seem to get myself to stop.
But I know I can stop. I got myself to do it before. I just need to figure out how I did it. That’s why I wish that I had started blogging from the beginning of my journey.
Oh i really wish i’d started my blogging at the beginning of my weight loss as well. I have no doubt that you will be back on the wagon. It’s just hard sometimes getting started!
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I always look at the before pics Pam, or think about my life back when I was in school… it seems to motivate me!
Glad you had a great weekend. This whole food addiction thing is a tough one to fight, that’s for sure. Some days it seems easy and some days I fight it every waking moment. But as Ron said, looking at your before pics, you obviously have what it takes!!
And really, compared to a gazillion, 1.5 is a really almost nothing. Have a great week – I’ll be thinking about you.
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