Sorry for the long posting silence. For those of you still checking in with me, I appreciate your support and I have to thank Diana especially for trying to talk me down off the ledge. Okay, it’s not really a ledge, but a buffet table covered with every yummy goodness that you can possibly imagine. I’ve fallen hard. But I WILL get back up. I keep saying that, so now I need to actually DO it.
I think I’ve been trying to avoid the whole Weight Watchers/weight loss/blogging world lately because it just seemed to reinforce how far into my old habits I’ve fallen. Kind of one of those “out of sight, out of mind” moments. If something is bothering me, I tend to be a person that tries to avoid it for as long as possible. Unfortunately, in this situation, that’s going to land me right back where I started and I couldn’t live with myself if I let that happen. I can really feel the weight that I’ve regained and honestly don’t know how I survived at my starting weight.
I started Weight Watchers three years ago June 6th. It’s crazy how time flies. I’m still down about 132 or so pounds since I started, but considering I was once down 160 pounds, I’m not real happy with myself.
I know that a lot of people are big fans of tough love and think that that is what I need, but to be honest, tough love never worked for me. Anytime someone would try it with me, my inner rebel would come into view and say “well, dammit, I’m just gonna eat more.” Makes total sense, right? But it feeds into that dangerous cycle of I eat too much, so feel bad about it, so I eat more, so I feel even worse….a truly vicious cycle. So for the past couple of days, I’ve been trying to get my head back into the zone that I was in when I started. I’m trying to remember that feeling and trying my damnedest to get it back. But perhaps re-finding that old feeling isn’t what I need right now. Perhaps I need to discover a new motivation more appropriate for my current life situation.
While I’m sure there are some life issues that are feeding (heh) my mindless eating, part of the problem is that I just freaking love to eat! I enjoy every aspect of it from the process to the burst of flavors on your tongue. I’m a freak, I know. One area that I know I need to work on, that I’ve let slip, is that I need to slow myself down. I tend to eat WAY too fast.
I also need to keep myself more hydrated. I’ve been slacking on my water drinking recently, and since I only drink water, I know that I’m not getting nearly enough fluids. I’m sure this is fueling the hunger.
Anyway, to all of you out there still plugging along and seeing those numbers drop, congratulations. I’m truly happy for you and am cheering you on even though I haven’t been in touch lately. I do still think about you guys often!
To anyone else that may be struggling like I am, hang in there, and as always, know that you’re definitely not alone. We’ll all hit rough patches, but we’ll all pull through…together.
I haven’t been at this as long as you have, but I’ve really been struggling with focus for the past month. It drives me nuts that I let some of the old bad behaviors back in so easily. Anyway, reading things like this really does help – makes me feel a sort of alliance against the food! haha. You’ve done it before and you know you can do it again. That’s what’s different for you now. You know exactly what you need to do and what works for you. That’s the first step to getting refocused! Don’t ever lose sight of how far you’ve come!
Ellen F.’s last blog post..New Week
Hang in there, Pamela! I hear what you’re saying about tough love – I react in exactly the same way. So let’s try real love… you are worth the effort of eating well, staying hydrated and exercising. You have proved to yourself that you can do this. You are not weak-willed, because someone who lost 160 pounds didn’t do it by being wishy-washy. So you know that you can keep it together. Therefore the problem is with the “why” and not the “how”. You need to find the “why” again, otherwise you will find yourself up 50, then 100 and then 150 pounds heavier… Find the self-love and the reasons why you started this journey in the first place, and you will be well on your way again… I’m rooting for you!
Hanlie’s last blog post..What Is The Meatrix?
Hang in there Pam, You have worked hard and accomplished so much, you don’t want to throw in the towel. Do you?
Ron’s last blog post..Lack of exercise
blog more….we miss you, and it seems to help to share the struggles.
I read your blog often and really appreciate the honesty and struggles you talk about. This is a great post, thank you. I have been trying for many years to get my extra weight off. I go up and down and can’t seem to get the motivation I need to stick with it. I hope you find your new motivation, you’ve come so far.
I just saw you in Dianas journal and she was saying you fell off the wagon and your back! so i wanted to (be nosey) and say welcome back.
I had a look at your progress chart and photos, wow, wow WOW. what an inspiration! Definatly get back on that wagon girl you have done just so so great.
sarah hammond’s last blog post..Food Porn: Making the most of leftover Roast chicken #1
Thank you all so much for your comments and support. It means the world to me! You’ve given me a lot to think about.
Woohoo! My girl is back!!!
This is the best gift ever, you posting again. I’m thrilled.
You are such an amazing person, and I just know you’re going to get back on track. Heck, sounds like you’re already there.
I’m right there with you Pamela. We can both do this, I know we can..I know we can..I know we can. *Remember “the little engine that could” story. That’s us!
Diana’s last blog post..Struggles