Progress pictures (see link in toolbar above) are a bad, bad thing to look at at 3:38am when you’ve regained 80 pounds.
I look at that girl who lost 160 pounds (that girl in the picture to the right) and I can barely even remember what she felt like.
Yeah, there just aren’t words for this feeling (anger, depression, sadness, anxiety, fear, shame don’t even come close) and a few tears might be involved.
But I’m allowing myself this moment and accepting that these feelings are absolutely useless to me right now.
I know what I need to keep doing and I’m doing it. I will make it through this weekend on plan. I can and will do it. I’m not going to waste another week by blowing it over the weekend. Not again.
In an eternal battle that mother nature seems to be waging against me, it’s supposed to rain today. But I don’t care. I’m going walking anyway, even if I have to traipse through the mud.
I know I’ve been struggling for a while now, and I appreciate those of you who haven’t given up on me.
I’m determined to get my groove back (without going to Jamaica).
Tonight, I’m allowing the sadness its moment. Tomorrow, I’m kicking ass.
And you WILL kick ass because you are amazing! You are such an inspiration to all of us & I know that you are a determined person & as long as you never give up…you will always be in this to succeed! Have a wonderful weekend, and please keep writing!
Pam, The thing about this weight loss thing and being healhty is… you really have to want it.. and as you know ‘never give up’ and I myself for years kinda… wanted it…. Even tho I still screw(being polite here, had another word in mind) up, I jump right back on the wagon. But when you Kinda want to be healthy you make half-assed healhty choices. I must admit, now that I have been lifting and can see mucscle…. I am in that “I want to shed every bit of fat off my body mode” I don’t know if I can actually do it… but I am going to keep trying. Living and cooking for myself helps with this…. I don’t eat what I think most family’s do. My house is full of canadian bacon, egg beaters and egg whites, yogurt, strawberries, blueberries, nuts, vegetables, venison, chicken and fish…. There is no baking done here unless its fish. There is no candy, cakes, cookies etc… my screw ups are when I go out to eat! and I am working on that. You know you can do it if you want to!
.-= Ron´s last blog ..1600 Calories or less ? =-.
Gosh, that is so hard. I remember I felt the same way when I lost 40 pounds and regained it, about 9 years ago. It is SO heartbreaking.
You are doing a wise thing in continuing to blog it, be real about it, face it. If you ignored it or did like a lot of bloggers do (delete their blogs and disappear) then, I think, hope fades. But the way you are handling it, I believe you will be able to re-reach your goals. I believe in you. Hang in there.
.-= Lyn´s last blog ..Low Carb Veggie Lasagna, and Feeling Great! =-.
You can and will do it!! I have absolutely no doubt.
.-= suzanne´s last blog ..An awesome day!! =-.
We are almost in exactly the same boat, except I’ve been yoyo-ing for the last 3 years (pathetic, I know). I just put up my progress pictures yesterday and man, I’ve come along way, but I’m pissed that I keep letting myself go and losing control, then struggling hard to get back down.
Thanks for making me feel not so alone in this re-losing process and to know that I’m not the only one having a difficult time maintaining.
Have a good weekend! You can do it
And, you SHOULD go to Jamaica. Just for the hell of it.
.-= Jess´s last blog ..Just Do It =-.