The “Yeah, buts”

We all know them.  We’re all familiar with them.  They’re the soul-suckers.  They’re the self-esteem killers.  They’re the joy snatchers.  They’re the little words that can drain pleasure and replace it with depression in a single instant.  Along with comparison, they are another thief of happiness.

They’re the “yeah, buts.”

The “yeah, buts” can invade just about any part of your existence.  From your work, to your hobbies, to your weight, to just about any good event in your life.

For example, here are a few of the weight loss “yeah, buts” in my life right now.

I’ve lost 90.5 pounds.

Yeah, but I had lost 160 pounds.

I’ve lost 90.5 pounds.

Yeah, but I still have more than 80 pounds to go.

I’ve lost 90.5 pounds.

Yeah, but no one cares, including me, because I regained a ton.

I kept off well over 70 of the 160 pounds that I had lost.

Yeah, but I still regained more than 80.

I’ve lost weight the past four weeks in a row.

Yeah, but I gained this week.  Maybe my luck has run out.

I’m down a size from where I was a month ago.

Yeah, but I’m up 4-5 sizes from where I was a year ago.

And some from when I was closer to my lowest weight:

I’ve lost over 160 pounds!

Yeah, but look what lasting damage I did to my body!

I’ve lost over 160 pounds!

Yeah, but look at the extra skin!

I’ve lost over 160 pounds!

Yeah, but I still feel like crap sometimes.

I’m close to my goal weight.

Yeah, but I’ll still never be as pretty as her.

I’m down 9-10 sizes from where I began.

Yeah, but I’m still considered plus sized.

I’ve lost over 160 pounds.

Yeah, but will it ever be enough?  [This "yeah, but" could be a whole blog post in and of itself]

You see, I’m an expert at the “yeah, buts.”  And those are just some of the ones from my weight loss.  I haven’t even begun on the “yeah, buts” from the other areas of my life.  They can be everything from:

I just made a kick-ass dinner for myself.

Yeah, but I broke a plate doing it.  [Okay, this one didn't really happen to me, and is just an example of something that could (and inevitably will) happen to me ]

to:

I just finished making this beautiful necklace!

Yeah, but that bead has a small scratch on it now.

The “yeah, buts” can also be a close, personal friend of the  “onlys” (or is that the “onlies”?), as the “onlys” are another great joy sucker:

I only lost one pound this week.

I only ran for a mile today. [for me, this would actually be monumental]

I can only walk on the treadmill for an hour.

So while the negative “yeah, buts” feed into our “onlys,” if we try, we can also turn our “yeah, buts” on their head and use them for good:

I only lost one pound this week.

Yeah, but I’ve lost X total so far and it’s still a loss!

I can only walk on the treadmill for an hour.

Yeah, but a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t even be able to have done 10 minutes, and now I can even jog a little.

Unfortunately, the negative “yeah, buts” tend to have more of an impact on our self-worth.  I know that I, myself, have a long way to go in attempting to reduce their occurrence and impact on my confidence.

So think about how your “yeah, buts” affect your life.  Are they mostly positive or negative?  Where do you use the negative ones the most in your life?  Do you use them often?  You don’t have to tell me the answers to those questions, but I challenge both you and myself to try and avoid the negative ones for the next week.  Let’s turn them on their heads and use them for good.

I kept off well over 70 of the 160 pounds that I had lost.

Yeah, but I still regained more than 80.

Yeah, but I’m already heading back down the scale and darn it, I’m freaking awesome! [ No, there's never anything wrong with a little self pep talk]