“Run, Jeny, Run”

I mentioned in my last post early this morning that one of the books that I had finished recently was “Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer,” by Chely Wright.  I haven’t listened to country music in years upon years, though I really loved it when I was in high school in the mid-’90s.  (I blame my best friend for sucking me into it!)  But I’ve always been a fan of Chely’s music, even if I haven’t listened to it in a while.

Before my trip to DC, I downloaded her new album, though I didn’t get to listen to it until I got back.  I really like it.  There are several songs on it that I like, but one of my faves is called “Wish Me Away.”  It about breaks my heart.  I guess a while back when she started writing songs for the album and was sharing them with her label, they thought they were too depressing and recommended that she write something “positive and hopeful.”  This is the song that she wrote in response to that request.  It’s not on the album, but it cracks me up:

So anyway, I also picked up her new book the day before our trip, as well.  One of the bookstores here in KC is doing a signing/performance with her in June and to get two tickets to it, you merely had to buy the book.  I probably would have gotten it anyway at some point, but this just sped up the process a bit.  I started the book early last week, I believe, and then saw Chely’s interview on Oprah via YouTube on Wednesday or Thursday.  Here it is in three parts:

After watching that, I thought “Wow.  Her dad seems like a really great guy.  That’s so wonderful that he was so supportive.”  And I still think that it was wonderful that he was so supportive.  A lot of parents wouldn’t have been (though I personally think that’s ridiculous).  I fully support Chely and imagine that it must have taken a lot of courage to come out the way she did.

So after watching that, I continued reading.  Then I came across a part of the book that made me have second thoughts about how wonderful Daddy Wright might be.  Apparently, her brother had been having some trouble with a school bully.  In order to make him not be a sissy, apparently their mom told their dad to go out and beat the heck out of him to teach him to fight.  And he did.  Her brother came back bloody and bruised.  Um, so beyond not cool.

I then read about how she came out to him and his response and thought, well, maybe it was just a fluke and he was just following “mom’s” orders, though there is absolutely NO excuse for what he did in my opinion.  But then I came across a chapter in her book entitled, “Run, Jeny, Run.”

Apparently, her sister Jeny had a bit of a weight problem when she was growing up, though she looked perfectly normal in all of the photos I saw in the book.  And apparently, their parents weren’t having any of that (even though their dad had a bit of a weight struggle himself).  They called her names like “Jeny Pig” and “Tush Hog.”  They forced her to wear Husky brand clothes from the boys’ department and said “If she gets embarrassed enough, she’ll stop eating like a pig.”

One summer day, they forced her to tie herself to the back bumper of their car with a dog leash, and after smacking her across the back of her thighs with a razor strap several times, forced her to run after the car as their mother drove.   Before her run began that day, they said:

We will not have a fat kid!

and

You’re gonna run if we have to drag you!

To say that I was absolutely appalled when reading these stories would be the wildest of understatements.  I had my mom read the “Run, Jeny, Run” chapter and she couldn’t believe it.  She said, “They should be locked up.”  These stories are never resolved to my mind and I’m not quite sure why she included them in the book.  The only reference to them later in the book, the only form of resolution, is when she’s describing the pain of being excluded for our differences:  her for being gay, her sister for being overweight, and her brother for not being quick to fight.  Perhaps that is why these stories were included – to show that we all have problems that make us different or make us a part of a minority.  I have to wonder what her sister’s relationship is like today with their parents.  I personally would have told them “adios” and “go to hell” as soon as I turned 18.  How do you forget things like that?

But every time I see people posting online about how wonderful her dad is and how great he is to be supporting her the way he is, it makes me sick to my stomach.  Yes, it is wonderful that he is supporting her the way he is, but he’s done some pretty horribly crappy things in my opinion.  And those were only the stories she shared!

It also made me sad to read how desperate she was and still is for his approval and his love.  I know that he’s her father, but geesh. Unfortunately, it also seems to be a pattern in her life.  The woman that she pined for throughout her book and declared as “the love of her life” also treated her horribly in my opinion and expected her to deny pretty much the essence or core of who she is.  Of course, we don’t have the full story, but from the way Chely described her, there was very little to support the idea that this woman deserves her love.

Chely deserves better than this.  I hope she realizes that soon.  Catch Chely on Ellen on Thursday, and I will be looking forward to seeing her in person on June 10th!  I had mentioned that I’ve met her at least once before – way back when I was in high school.  I can’t find the pic that was taken of us together, but I did find what she signed for me: