Look at What You’ve Accomplished

Hi all! I hope you’ve had a great weekend.  For the most part, mine was pretty darn good if I do say so myself.  Definitely one of the most “social” weekends I’ve had in a really long time.  Something to do everyday.  Today, I went to lunch with a coworker that has become a really good friend and we sat at the restaurant for almost four hours!! Luckily, there was no shortage of tables, so we didn’t feel bad about hogging one.  I really had a fantastic time.  And seriously, we talked about darn near almost everything.

I’ll stop here and say that my eating this weekend has really blown.  Yeah, blown like the Kansas wind across the prairie.  I’ve been eating like a crazy woman, pretty much.  I did, however, start to turn that around at lunch today.  I ordered chicken fajitas like I usually do (yum), and ate two of the tortillas, but this time used little to no sour cream or guacamole, and left my leftovers instead of bringing them home.  I also only had about four chips.  So overall, I did pretty good.

Afterward, I was only planning on stopping by the Wal-Mart Market to pick up some shampoo (which they ended up not having), but drove by my little nirvana on earth a/k/a the bookstore.  More particularly in this case, Borders.  <yummy sigh>  Obviously, I had to stop. Seriously, I can be at total peace in a bookstore (unless of course their A/C is on the fritz).  I could also wander for hours.  This time, I stuck to the Bargain Bin (well, except for one Piers Anthony Incarnations of Immortality book, “On a Pale Horse,” that I’ve been dying to reread).  I couldn’t help myself.  But really, that’s the first time I’ve been to Borders in quite a while.

After that, I did run to Wal-Mart Market, and here is where you would be proud of me.  I did buy a couple of 100 calorie pack snacks, but even though I looked longingly at the gluttony of yummy before me, I resisted!

And now to the point of this post.  I know, it sometimes  takes me a bit to get to my point

When I got home, I had to mow most of our back yard.  Unfortunately, it’s on the large side (to me) and also unfortunately, it’s still steamy hot outside.  But I’ve definitely learned to shoot for mowing in the evening right before the sun starts to go down.  MUCH more bearable.

Anyway, I started mowing and was letting my mind wander, thinking about various random thoughts.  I’ve had a lot on my mind lately – work, personal, family – so there was no shortage of things I could stew over.  And then I made the mistake of actually looking at the yard to see how much I still had left to do.

Um, big no-no.  My heart sank.  And I realized that the best way to get through it is to focus on what I’ve already done and the path that is directly in front of me.  And every rare once in a while, my brain will actually make a connection.

“Hmmm…,” I thought, “this probably applies to my weight loss, not to mention various other areas of my life.”  I mentioned that I’ve had a lot going on lately and along with it has been quite a bit of uncertainty (everything from whether I can keep this weight loss thing going or if I’ve had my chance, to uncertainty about various work issues, etc.).  In fact, I was feeling pretty low about everything last night. (Hey, I’m a Virgo – we don’ t handle uncertainty all that well.)

But this rare moment while mowing the lawn made me realize that I need to stop looking at all that I have left to do.  I need to stop looking at the big picture – that great amount of pounds that I still need to lose (like the great expanse of lawn that still needed mowing) – and start looking at what I’ve accomplished.  I’ve kept off over 80 pounds for four years.  I’ve come back from the brink of ballooning back up to my starting weight and have re-lost about 20 pounds.  I’ve even had two of my biggest trigger foods in the house for weeks and still have quite a bit left of each (but more on that another day).  I’ve accomplished a heck of a lot.

Not to mention, I need to stop looking at how far I need to go in my personal life and see what major strides I’ve taken lately in pulling myself out of the self-imposed exile I placed myself under when my brother died.

I’ve accomplished a lot and I need to stop belittling it and beating myself down about how far I still need to go.

I also need to stay focused on the immediate path before me – the path that will lead me to where I want to be in my life.  While mowing, that was the path directly in front of the mower.  In my life, I may need to be a bit more flexible and creative in discovering what direction my path will go.  But I need to keep exploring and find that path and keep moving along it.

For my weight loss, that may be the next five pounds (which is how I got through losing 160 lbs last time).  In my social life, that may be forcing myself to keep putting myself out there.  One day at a time.

If I just stopped mowing because I was tired or sick of it or a bug flew up my nose (which was an actual fear I had today), I would never get it done.  I would never accomplish anything.  I need to stop letting obstacles, not the least of which is myself, get in the way of my path.

So remember:

Focus on all that you’ve accomplished.
Not on all that you still have left to accomplish.