A Stubborn Sleeper (er, Non-Sleeper?)

Well, it’s everyone’s favorite morning!  Monday morning!  Okay, that was a lame attempt at bringing a bit of cheer into this Monday morning.

It’s currently 10am.  Yes, I am supposed to be sleeping.  In fact, I should have been in bed about five hours ago.  <SIGH>

Project “Get Pamela Some Sleep” didn’t go so well last week, unfortunately.  There were two days in which I got about 10 hrs each, but the rest of the week seemed to follow my usual pattern.  In fact, Thursday night, I only got about 3 1/2 hrs.  Friday night, I got absolutely NO sleep.  Then on Saturday night, I took about a 3 1/2 hr nap and was up until about 7 Sunday morning after which I got about four more hours.  UGH.

Then, I made a huge mistake of taking a three hour nap late last night.  Which brings me to the current time of 10-freaking-o-clock in the morning and I’m wide awake.  I feel tired, but just really don’t want to sleep for some reason.  I don’t know what my deal is.  I’m avoiding sleep so desperately that I even visited my old MySpace account which I hadn’t looked at for months upon months. Now, that’s desperate.   I have to admit though, that in looking at my forgotten MySpace page, I found myself remembering certain lost forgotten aspects of myself.  Things that I loved, but had forgotten about, memories that I’ll always cherish, but hadn’t thought about, etc.  It was like looking in a time capsule.  Of course, the fact that the majority of the pics were from when I was a lot further down on the scale had an impact, as well.   In looking at my skinny self, I couldn’t help but remember how I still felt fat.  And I want to reach back and smack that girl and say “what the hell was wrong with you?” LOL

On the weight loss front, I didn’t track at all this week, but I did pretty well and didn’t go nuts over the weekend.  I’m very optimistic about weigh in tomorrow. I think it will go well.  Okay, I admit it. I peeked at the scale a bit tonight, so I have some grounds for saying that I’m optimistic.

I did have some fun clothes shopping Sat. morning.  I was able to buy a new pair of jeans in a size smaller, as well as some other unmentionables in a smaller size. I even found a gorgeous cami that is in the softest fabric you can imagine.  Of course, the fact that it was turquoise (my favorite color) is what made me have to buy it. Now I just need to find something to wear over it, because no, these arms aren’t flying free.

So while I’ve been a bit discouraged on the scale front, getting to buy some new clothes in smaller sizes is helping on the confidence front.

Hmmm….what else can I ramble about this morning?  Oh yeah.  Mr. Evil (as he shall henceforth be known) has gotten me completely addicted to this song (I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve listened to this-I could use a wish or two myself):

I started rewatching the movie “Camp” tonight and remembered how much I love this song.  It has such a strong, powerful message that I think is a great reminder for us all:

And have you guys seen the preview for this movie?  Oh parts of it cracked me up so hard:

Oh and you guys would be proud of me!  I really wanted to order pizza this weekend – and my parents were all over the idea – but we didn’t!  I talked them out of it.  Of course, I had some help from some good people on Twitter that talked me down from the ledge (including the previously mentioned Mr. Evil). So a big thanks to them!

I’m really looking forward to TEDxKC on Thursday.  Brené Brown was on the radio here on Friday (part of why I didn’t get much sleep) and she was awesome.  But not only am I looking forward to going to TEDx, I’m also looking forward to having a night off work and the potential for some drinks with friends afterward.  I might actually feel like I have a normal life for one night!

Okay, have I done enough stalling?  Hmmmmm.  I guess so.  I know I’m going to be kicking myself at work tonight, but darn it! I just don’t want to sleep!

(Of course, by the time that I get everything put away and lie down, the neighbor’s yappy dog (every time I say that, I think of the song from Rent) will probably be it’s usual obnoxious self….)

Happy 08/09/10 day!