Cat’s Out of the Bag

In my efforts lately to live a more bold, authentic, and whole-hearted life, I woke up one day with yet another impulse to “let the cat out of the bag” as far as my blog is concerned.

This may surprise you, because I’ve often written before about how I sometimes wish that no one I’m close with in my “real life” knew about my blog.  I’ve mentioned that sometimes it makes me question how open I want to be about things.  It’s hard letting yourself be this vulnerable and this open.

Unfortunately, I happened to mention this impulse on Twitter and ended up being talked into it by a certain someone (you know who you are).  And in all honesty, that person was probably right about what they said.  The people who matter won’t care and those who do care don’t matter.

And so I did it.  I put it out there on Facebook and shared it with all of my friends and family.  Now, how many of them actually saw the post, since I put it out there on a Friday evening, which admittedly is a slow Facebook night, I don’t know.  Only a few people have said anything, and the harshest response I got was from my mom – who just seemed surprised that I would want certain people reading about this stuff.  She has a point to a certain extent.

But this blog is me.  This blog is my hopes and dreams and fears and struggles, and I’ve learned over the last two and a half years, that I’m not entirely alone or unique in any one of those.

For the longest time, I really avoided joining Twitter.  I just refused – I tend to be kind of stubborn in not wanting to follow everyone else.  I didn’t see the point.  And then I joined it.  And then I got involved in it.  I have to say that it is really what has spurred this sudden “be bold” campaign.   In a way, not to be dramatic or anything, joining Twitter changed my life.  I went from being a hermit who liked her own company best (I still have my moments) to having met and hung out with some really great people.  I’m learning to be adventurous and try new things.  I’m learning to move past, push through, jump over fear and welcome the rush of successfully beating it down. I’m engaged in life again.

Then I realized that my Twitter account lists my website.  Based on stats, I know that quite a few people have clicked through to my site from Twitter.  I’m sure quite a few people check out my site before deciding to follow me.  I realized that these people that I have become acquaintances or friends with so recently through Twitter know me probably a lot better than a lot of the people in my “real life” and that isn’t fair.  It’s not fair to them or to me.  They deserve to have someone be open with them and I deserve to have people in my life that accept me for who I am: an always passionate, always hopeful, always loving, adventurous-at-heart, sometimes anxiety-ridden, sometimes self-conscious, and sometimes silly woman.

They deserve to know me as you guys know me.

So right now, I’m tamping down the panic, the fear, and uncertainty to say welcome!  Here I am!

PS – I’m really going to make an effort to keep this from changing the way I write.  I’ve been somewhat successful in the past by just “forgetting” that certain people are reading…LOL