Archive for » 2011 «

Am I Invisible?

Please excuse my rant. Maybe I’ve just been exhausted from lack of sleep (have been having a harder time than usual sleeping lately), under a lot of stress at work, or who knows what else, but people are pissing me right the hell off lately. Supposedly, this is the season for giving and sharing. But it seems like people are more inconsiderate than ever. In the span of a week, I’ve had two incidents (probably more – these just stick out) where people have been completely rude.  Perhaps they’re just so wrapped up in their own worlds or the idea that no [ ... ]

Happy Thanksgiving

On the eve before Thanksgiving, I wanted to pop in and say hi.  I’m still alive.  Not doing so well on the eating front…which probably explains my absence in posting.  I think visiting the district attorney’s office about my brother threw me into a tailspin that I haven’t quite recovered from. It’s been eight years, but the holidays are still hard without him.  It gets easier, but he’s never far from my thoughts, and at times I find myself in a bit of a funk for seemingly no reason. Then I realize why I probably am.  Because I miss him.  At [ ... ]

Updates

Hi all! Guess what? My weight on the scale is actually down!  It’s showing me as being down 6 lbs from my most recent highest.  But officially, I’m only down 2.7.  But I’ll take it! I’m excited to see what the scale says on Saturday.  I was perfectly on plan Friday.  Wasn’t perfectly on plan Saturday, but didn’t do TOO bad and did a lot of walking at the renaissance festival.  Then was perfectly on plan yesterday and so far so good today!  I’m going out tonight and I even have my planned drinking tracked in advance in my tracker. Go [ ... ]

New Determination

I’m almost scared to say anything for fear I will jinx myself, but I find myself with a new determination to get back on plan today.  It may have something to do with the fact that I’ve been feeling sick to my stomach all day. LOL But I have been tracking all of my food today, and actually sat down and made a grocery list for when I go shopping tonight. Do you have any idea how long it has been since I actually wrote out a grocery list?  Especially one that didn’t have the word “cookies” written on it? [ ... ]

Out of Control

Hi all. My eating is totally out of control. My emotions are totally out of control. My weight is getting totally out of control and I’m seeing numbers on the scale that make me cry. I feel like I’m in the bottomless pit of despair again that I can’t pull myself out of. Except I KNOW that I can…and that just makes me feel that much worse about myself. I have GOT to get myself back on plan. I have GOT to. I can’t let this continue. I’m already feeling so low that I just can’t imagine how much worse it can [ ... ]

Working on Other Things

Hi folks! As has become the norm in my blog posts lately, I’ve come to alert you that I’m still alive. Thank you very much to all of you who have taken the time to drop me a note and check in on me. I really appreciate it. It actually means the world to me and I’m going to do my best to get back to you soon. I’m doing okay on the whole.  Hanging in here emotionally, etc.  Food-wise and Weight Watchers-wise…yeah, well, let’s just not go there. My weight just keeps creeping up. Though I did see a [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  3 Comments

Never Too Late?

Hola, folks.  It’s your long-lost friend, Pamela. I’m here. I’m alive.  To say I’ve been struggling lately is probably an understatement.  I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you all considering the very few number of posts I’ve written lately and the tone that most of them have held.  Emotionally, I’ve been a basket-case.  Physically, I’ve not stuck to plan at all.  The way I’ve been craving yummy foods makes me feel like a drug addict.  But I’ve written about that plenty of times in the past, so won’t rehash it again today.  I’ve gained weight again, and [ ... ]

Settling In

Today marks my fourth day on my new schedule.  Third day with getting here by 10:30am.  Amazingly, I’m actually doing a bit better at getting here on time at 10:30 than I was at noon.  Isn’t that strange?  In fact, I was so tired, I was in bed by 12:30am last night.  But, we’ll see if it lasts.   So far, I’m really liking it.  In fact, I actually get to go to a movie tonight!  I had a heck of a time finding someone that was able to go with me, but one of my friends is incredibly [ ... ]

The Bright Side-Progress

Hi all! I hope you’re all doing well.  I’ve been meaning to drop in for a while now, but, well…got caught up in life again. The week before last, I didn’t track perfectly, but somehow managed to get a five pound loss!  Yeah, I am still not quite sure how that happened. This past week…I didn’t do the best. Didn’t do terribly, but didn’t track again.  I gained 1.4 pounds. But some of that could also have been water retention. So I was okay with it. The interesting thing to note was that I weighed in at exactly the same weight that I [ ... ]

I’m Here

Hi all. Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written.  I’ve started about a hundred blog posts and then gave up in the middle and then just gave up period.  Stopped even trying to write.  Because, honestly, to write on here meant that I actually had to think about things that are going on with me.  And well, better to live like Scarlett O’Hara, right? But I thought I would pop in and say hi and let you all know that I’m okay.  I’m hanging in here.  Just trying to make it day by day.  I have good days and bad [ ... ]

Sad

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written.  I did really well my first week back on plan and lost 3.6 pounds.  I have, however, probably gained it back by now. It’s been a rough week. I’ve been in one seriously hellish funk of which I can’t seem to find my way out.  I’m just exhausted mentally and emotionally and seem to have been using my heart and mind and yes, even my body (though not literally) as punching bags.  Have been feeling really overwhelmed lately by things I can’t control, both having to do with myself and with my world [ ... ]

Getting Back In The Groove

Hi folks.  It’s been a few days since I’ve posted, so you’re probably wondering how I’m doing and if I’m sticking to plan.  I am!  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a few not-so-proud moments and know I haven’t been perfect, but I’m getting there.  I’m slowly starting to get into a routine with my meals…for the first time since I switched my hours in October. But can I just say that I really really really really really really really hope I show a loss on the scale on Saturday?  Even though I’ve stuck pretty close to plan, I’m still scared [ ... ]

Last (& Unofficial) Weigh-In Pre-WW Meetings

Happy Monday all!  Ok…well, as happy as a Monday can be. For the great majority of the time that I was losing weight, I weighed in on Tuesdays.  Several weeks ago, I flipped it to Mondays.  It just seemed to work better with the new hours I’ve been working. As you know, I began attending Weight Watchers meetings on Saturday, so my new weigh-in day is now Saturday (which is going to take some getting used to).  Since I’d only technically stuck to the plan one day (Sunday), I decided to go ahead and weigh in this morning to see [ ... ]
Category: Weigh-Ins  2 Comments

Busy Weekend

Hi all!  I hope you had a really great weekend.  Mine was really good…but busy.  I seem to be in the mood lately where I feel like I constantly have to be doing something.  If I’m not out and about, I still feel like there’s things I need to be doing: laundry, blog posts, etc. Saturday dawned bright and early…ugh.  But I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting EVER with my friend, Christy (a/k/a Angelchrys – who is awesome by the way, so check her out).  Most of you know that I’ve only ever done Weight Watchers online.  Once [ ... ]

30 Days of Lists: List 30-What I Like About Myself

Today’s official list is “Today’s To-Do List.”  But honestly, other than working on my taxes, I haven’t really set any tasks that I just have to do.  I really just need a day of R&R (other than work of course). So for lack of anything else to make a list about, I decided that I’ve spent enough time complaining about what I don’t like about myself on here lately.  I’ve spent enough time beating myself up and verbally abusing myself.  I’m tired of feeling bad about myself. So here are a few things I like about myself. My compassion My passionate nature (the [ ... ]
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