Archive for the Category »Body Image «

Working on Other Things

Hi folks! As has become the norm in my blog posts lately, I’ve come to alert you that I’m still alive. Thank you very much to all of you who have taken the time to drop me a note and check in on me. I really appreciate it. It actually means the world to me and I’m going to do my best to get back to you soon. I’m doing okay on the whole.  Hanging in here emotionally, etc.  Food-wise and Weight Watchers-wise…yeah, well, let’s just not go there. My weight just keeps creeping up. Though I did see a [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  3 Comments

Perspective

I’ve been beating myself up a lot lately.  Yes, there’s been a TON going on in my life lately and my eating plan has pretty much fallen to the wayside. I have been trying harder over the past week, however, and the number on the scale looks promising.  Of course, I gained last week, so it may just end up balancing out.  But we’ll see what happens on Tuesday. Even though the number on the scale has been fluctuating a ton lately and I’m not happy with either it or what I see in the mirror, I’m still over 90 pounds [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  8 Comments

Body Image

This topic has been going around in my head quite a bit lately, and I figured that it’s been a while since I’ve written anything humiliatingly from the heart.  So why not? I’ve always had body image issues.  I mean, I’ve been overweight since 3rd grade.  It’s no surprise.  I’ve spent the majority of my life comparing my body to other women and falling short.  (And yes, we all know what Brené Brown says about comparison – “[it] is the thief of happiness.”) I firmly believe that there are many beautiful and many absolutely gorgeous overweight women out there.  I just don’t [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  10 Comments

Progress Pictures Are a Bad Thing

Progress pictures (see link in toolbar above) are a bad, bad thing to look at at 3:38am when you’ve regained 80 pounds. I look at that girl who lost 160 pounds (that girl in the picture to the right) and I can barely even remember what she felt like. Yeah, there just aren’t words for this feeling (anger, depression, sadness, anxiety, fear, shame don’t even come close) and a few tears might be involved. But I’m allowing myself this moment and accepting that these feelings are absolutely useless to me right now. I know what I need to keep doing and I’m doing it.  I [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  5 Comments

Kevin Smith

By now I’m sure all of you have heard of/are following the Kevin Smith Southwest Airlines debacle.  I’ve been following it here and there, but stumbled across a post of Christy’s that led me to Kevin’s blog.  And I love it!  I’ll be following it more in the future.  She also linked to this blog post at Salon.com that I adored.  So thank you, Christy! Flying has always been an anxiety-ridden experience for me.  The only couple of times that I remember not worrying about fitting in the seat were when I was in 1st [ ... ]
Category: Body Image, Media  6 Comments

The Enemy

Right now, my enemies are mirrors.  Really, any reflective surface.  I remember the days just a year and a half ago when I used to catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, a window, a door, hell, even a spoon, and think “Who is that!”  Well, now I still do that, but it’s not nearly as positive of an experience. Usually, my first impressions now are of “Ugh” and “What the hell is wrong with you?”  Not conducive for positive self-esteem or self-confidence, I can tell you. But I’m trying to work on that. Maybe one day I’ll get to the point [ ... ]

Word Games

In browsing through the news yesterday, I came across this article: British Schools Ban The Word Obese It got me thinking about how I feel about the word and brought back horrible nightmares of my own elementary school years. Obese, fat, overweight.  They all generally mean the same thing, but each word has a very unique connotation to it.  I despise the word obese.  I don’t quite hate it as much as I did before I started Weight Watchers, but the very word made me cringe.  Probably because it hit a little too close to home.  I also dislike the word fat. And [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  2 Comments

The Power of 10 Pounds

I’ve been extremely overweight for most of my life.  I remember being an extremely skinny kid, and then being a really overweight kid.  I don’t remember the in-between, for some reason.  It’s almost as though I ballooned overnight. For most of the time that I was overweight, I’ve needed to lose well over 100 pounds.  Because of this, I’ve always had a hard time understanding when people have said that they need to “lose 5 pounds to get into this dress,” or “I need to lose 10 pounds”.  My first reaction (in my mind) was “so?”  I understand now that sometimes [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  One Comment

Bring Back Winter, Please?

Beside the mere fact that I enjoy fall/winter better than spring/summer, I want winter to come back solely for the clothes that are available. I always imagined that as I lost weight, clothing shopping would become much easier and relatively painless.  It has become much easier in that I can actually buy things in a store and don’t have to shop online anymore.  It has not become painless, however, by any means. I recently posted briefly about my struggles with the extra skin that has plagued me due to my weight loss.  This extra skin was a certainty due to the amount of time I’ve [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  2 Comments

Extra Skin

Yup, I said it.  Those dreaded words.  The words most feared by anyone who has a lot of weight to lose.  When I mentioned before that at times I feel like I’ve traded one set of problems for another, this is what I was talking about.  Extra skin. People often use the fear of extra skin as an excuse not to lose weight.  I myself used it, and now that I have lost a lot of weight, I see what a patently ridiculous excuse it is.  It is simply that.  An excuse. Don’t get me wrong.  I have a lot of it.  I [ ... ]
Category: Body Image  3 Comments

BMI

I’m a firm believer that the BMI Index is a load of hooey.  There are so many factors that go into it that there’s no way a person’s BMI can give an accurate view of a person’s health.  A man could be short and really well muscled/toned and be considered obese. I am, however, seriously disturbed by the fact that I’ve lost almost 150 pounds and am still considered obese by the medical community.  Granted, I weighed a lot when I started. I do, however, only have about six pounds to go until I am considered merely overweight, but it’s still pretty [ ... ]

Beauty in Hiding

For my birthday, I went to Branson, MO for the weekend.  I know, I know – why Branson?  To be honest, I just wanted to see the World’s Largest Titanic Museum (which I highly recommend to anyone with the slightest bit of interest in the Titanic).  While I was there, however, we visited The Butterfly Palace.  You’ve probably heard of these types of places before.  You go into a large room in which hundreds of butterflies fly around your head.  At times it was both stunning and frightening (coming from someone with a distinct dislike of bugs).  Many of the butterflies [ ... ]

What does skinny mean?

Since I’ve lost 145+ pounds, the term “skinny” has been getting bandied about quite a bit.  As in, “you are getting so skinny,” “look at you, Skinny Minnie,” etc.  “Skinny Minnie” being a phrase I abhor.  But what does it mean?  I may have lost a lot of weight, but by society’s standards, as well as a physician’s standards, I am still a great deal overweight.  I still have approximately 40 lbs to go.  I am far from skinny.  The only thing I can determine is that because they knew me before I began losing the pounds, I am indeed, in [ ... ]
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