Though I’ve been feeling that I need to take a step back from even Twitter for a bit.  To be honest, I think I’m getting a bit burned out on the whole technology thing.  There’s such a thing as being too connected, too overstimulated.  I kind of miss the days of just having tv and books and regular phones. LOL  Don’t get me wrong, I’m eternally grateful for the new friends that I’ve met, and I’m not going anywhere, but sometimes you just need to unplug for a bit.  I feel one of those times coming and will let you know if it happens.  (Of course I say that, having fully intended on having such an unplugged moment for over a year now and have yet to do it.)

On the food front, still not doing so great.  Could be worse, could be better.  Exercise – ha.  Unfortunately, my 33rd year that was going to be so wonderful hasn’t gotten off to the greatest start.  As I posted, my birthday itself was absolutely spectacular, but it’s pretty much just gone downhill since then.  Maybe my 32nd year was going to be my best? LOL  But it’s still early, and I still have hope that things are going to turn around.

Did you all have a good weekend?  Mine was okay.  I mowed the front lawn and part of the back on Saturday before it started raining.  Then I ran some errands and drove out to see where my friends are going to be moving to.  VERY nice.  I’m hoping that it turns out to be as nice inside as it is on the outside, and really hoping they like it here.  Found out yesterday that they have a 13-month lease, but based on past experience and the number of times they’ve moved already, I’m not expecting them to stay any longer.  So don’t worry, guys, I won’t get offended if you move on from here!  Though I will give you a hard time about it.   So I’m excited to see them hopefully this coming Saturday.  I’m just a bit worried that I won’t get to see them as often as I’d like because of my work hours.

The problem with Saturday was that I didn’t eat all day, because I was so busy.  Then, by the time dinner rolled around and I could actually sit down to eat, I was so hungry that I ate really fast….and ate pizza.  Enter the worst indigestion you can imagine. OMG all of Saturday night was absolute hell on earth.  I thought I was going to die.  Payback is a bitch, let me tell you.  I learned my lesson, though (ha-we’ll see).  I’m sure all of the stress I’ve been under at work, home, etc. didn’t help all that much either.  Even now, my stomach is feeling a bit iffy.

I really am going to try and get myself back on plan.  I need to do this for me.  I need to be proud of myself again.

On the music front, I pulled out some old CDs and have been listening to Melissa Etheridge’s “Lucky” CD.  I adore it.  I bought the CD for this song, because I heard it right after my brother died and the lyrics “I’m all right, I’m all right. It only hurts when I breathe” caught my attention:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inA6iPVY_S8

And this one is one of the most powerful ones I’ve heard about 9/11:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuvBTfN9C0c

It had several other truly beautiful songs and some fun ones, so if you like her music at all, I recommend checking it out.

On the book front, I’m still reading Lynsay Sands’ “Born to Bite.”  Pretty good so far, but haven’t been much in the mood to read lately (I really must be sick!).  My pile of books to read just keeps stacking up.  I did read two on-topic books recently:  “Life in the Fat Lane” and “The Fat Girl.”  Both are young adult books.  The main character in “Life in the Fat Lane” annoyed me and I really felt that she didn’t learn much over the course of the book.  The relationship in “The Fat Girl” deeply deeply disturbed me.  But I don’t want to share too much more so that I won’t ruin it for anyone that decides to check them out.

I’ve been watching several movies lately.  Don’t know if it’s because Halloween is coming up or because I think fall is finally here (and I’m LOVING it), but I’ve been leaning towards scary movies.  I’ve watched Shaun of the Dead (LOVED it), Hot Fuzz (can you tell I love Simon Pegg?), Darkness Falls, Cube 2: Hypercube (which kept my attention, but my reaction to the end was WTF?!), Legion, and Zombieland (which I also loved and thought was hilarious) among several others.

Okay, that’s all on my front.  Seen any good movies or read any good books lately?

PS – I’m hoping to do my own post about this if I can get around to it, but as I’ve mentioned, Brené Brown’s new book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” is coming out on 10/4.  I absolutely can’t wait to read it.  But she has launched “The Perfect Protest” on her website today.  Please make sure to check it out and I hope you’ll participate!  It’s so wonderful!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Lil’ Bits

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m a “quantity eater.”  I like to eat.  I like to eat a lot.  I won’t deny it.  I can eat a lot in a very short amount of time.  Um, yeah, pretty much the definition of a binge.

However, you would be so incredibly proud of me! I know I am!  A few months ago, I searched and searched for my favored 100 calorie packs of Cheetos.  I’ve posted so many times about them on here and mentioned many times that while it would be cheaper to buy the big bag of baked Cheetos, I would never be able to trust myself not to eat the whole bag in a day or two.  I tried it once, and measured out the bag in serving portions using Ziploc bags.  Even in the bags, they got stale before I could eat them.  I went back to the 100 calorie packs.  I then tried the big bag again, but just in measuring them out each time.  That lasted about two times until I went on a full-blown “let’s eat the whole bag” binge.

Well, this time around – a couple of months ago – I couldn’t find those darn 100 calorie packs anywhere!  Every store I went to was out of them.  So, I broke down and bought a big bag.  I wanted some, I measured it.  I wanted some, I measured it.  And so it continued…until the bag was gone.  One! Serving! At! A! Time!  I am now on big bag #2 and have had it for over a month and still have quite a bit left in the bag:

Crazy, right?  Oh, but it gets better!

See these??

Those right there have been one of my biggest binge triggers since college.  Seriously, I could finish a whole box off in a day or two (only two because I did have to work and/or sleep).  Serious deliciousness.

But guess what?  I’ve had this box for over two weeks now.  There are still a ton left in that box.  I’ve been measuring out the serving sizes one by one!  Can you believe it?  I hardly can.  (I will admit that there were two (and only two) times that I didn’t measure them out completely, but I used a really small bowl and if it was over the serving size, it wasn’t by much.)

So while my eating in general hasn’t been the greatest and I’m still going over on the weekends (and will likely show a gain tomorrow), I am definitely making some pretty important strides!

Okay…on to my goals.

They’re the same as they have been for a while:

• Drink more water.  I’ve been slipping on this one.  And again, I really pretty much only drink water.  So if I don’t drink much water, I’m not getting nearly enough fluid.
• Get at least eight hours of sleep every night this week.

In regards to my last goal, most of you know that I work some pretty funky hours (well, 2nd shift) and sleep during the day, but I’ve also always had problems sleeping.  I honestly can’t remember the last time that I slept for eight straight hours.  Most often lately, I sleep for four hours, wake up for a while and am lucky to get a couple more hours of sleep after that.  And on the weekend, my schedule flips almost to a normal one with getting up early and going to bed in the evening.  It’s crazy.  I almost always get very very little sleep on Friday nights.  This past weekend was no exception.  In fact, my exhaustion got to me so deeply last night (Sunday night), that while I did keep waking up every few hours, I got almost 11 hours of sleep!

So my goal this week is to get in bed each night with time enough for me to have at least eight hours of sleep.  Ideally, I will be in bed to have at least 9 hours, to account for those times that I wake up.  I’ve been so foggy-headed lately, that I want to see if getting a decent amount of sleep will affect it.  Of course, this is all in prayer that my insomnia doesn’t kick in.

I used to love to sleep and would do it as often as I could.  I loved to dream and could almost always remember my dreams vividly (unfortunately they were nightmares more often than not – but it got to the point where they didn’t phase me).  When my brother died, I stopped enjoying sleeping.  It scared me on a certain level and it also seemed like such a waste of time.  You’ve all heard that saying “I can sleep when I’m dead.”  There were too many other things I wanted to see and do that I couldn’t if I was sleeping (even if it was just watching a stupid TV show).  So after years of this attitude – you can see where it’s gotten me.

This week will be my experiment.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

Post from Uncovering Pamela

A 100 Calorie Pack NSV and Some Goals

First, I was getting ready to make pancakes this morning at about 4:30 am for part of my dinner (remember my odd schedule, right?).  I was getting ready to mix the batter, when I heard a sound like something dropped.  But immediately after that, I heard my mom’s shower shut off.  I figure maybe she just dropped something in the shower.  But after thinking about it for a minute, I decided that I better check to make sure.  I went up and tried my dad first – he’s been sleeping in a recliner in our “tv” room because of some back issues.  I knocked a couple of times and no answer.  When I called his name, though, and asked if he was okay, he said he was fine.  I asked if he had fallen and he said no, that he had just been sitting there.  So I knocked on my mom’s door and she said she was fine, too, but she thought she had heard something, too.  I looked around to make sure nothing had fallen off of anything, but couldn’t find anything.  We decided we were hearing things.

I went back downstairs and threw on the first pancake.  Then I heard someone call my name.  And then again, and I walked out of the kitchen and looked upstairs to see who was calling me and my dad was coming out of the room and when I asked if he was okay, I saw him start to slide backwards like he was going to fall.  I ran upstairs and grabbed on to his arm, as he grabbed mine and he started having seizures.  I called for my mom and we got him laid down in the bedroom.  My mom gave him his meds (that we give him to pull him out of these) while I finished my pancakes.  My mom has a flexible job where she can work from home if she absolutely needs to, so I kept an eye on him while she ran to the office to get her laptop.  When she got home, she let me go to bed.

I guess that he continued to have seizures for a while after that, but nothing out of the ordinary and he seemed fine when I got up later.  I had checked my bank account shortly after waking up to see if my tax refund might happen to be in it – I’ve been waiting since the middle of February – and lo’ and behold, it was in there.  But it was also $400 more than I was expecting.  You see, me, being the oblivious one, didn’t know about the “making work pay” credit or to expect it.  So after a few moments of intense peeviness about the fact that if I HAD known to expect it, my hiney would be in NYC at the “Lbs.” premiere this weekend, I settled down and am enjoying the idea of the extra money.

But anyway, at this point, I was physically feeling like royal crap (not peasant crap or even pauper crap, but royal crap), so I ended up calling in to work. I would soon find out that it was most likely a blessing in disguise that I didn’t go to New York OR to work.

I ended up resting for a while longer, and at this point, my dad seemed fine.  Around 7:30 pm, we were all finishing up watching a movie (“Old Dogs” of which I was only paying half attention, because I was working on something that I’ll share in a bit), when my dad went into the kitchen for a while.  I think he was checking some stuff online.  He came back in the living room and was talking to us and started up the stairs, still talking to us.  As soon as we were done talking, probably the scariest sight I’ve ever seen occurred.  I still shudder just thinking about it. He came tumbling down the stairs head first – no warning.  And when I say tumbling, I mean tumbling.  Head over heels.  He landed on his head/neck more than once, I’m sure of it.  And when he landed at the bottom, he was on his side, but with his chest and face on the ground, his glasses skewed and not moving.  We were sure he had broken his neck.  I remember “Oh my God, Oh my God” coming out of my mouth as I threw my laptop off to get up and help.  I immediately called 911 and answered all of the guy’s questions while my mom checked my dad out and tried to keep him from trying to get up as we didn’t know how badly he was hurt and he was still having seizures.  We could already tell that he was scraped in several places on his forehead and head (including the top of his head) and one of his knees was badly scraped – all from the carpeting.  The proof of him landing on his head is the location of some of those scrapes.

As soon as I heard the sirens and got the doors unlocked, I ran upstairs and threw some clothes on. Remember, I was home not feeling well – so I was in my PJs and robe.  As soon as I came down, we were being invaded by all sorts of EMTs and a police officer.  After assessing and finding out about his medical history, they were able to get him outside and to the ambulance where they had to call to find out where to take him.  They didn’t know if they could take him to the nearest hospital of if they would need to take him to a trauma center.  They were pretty sure it would just be the hospital because he didn’t appear to have any spinal injuries or broken bones – thank God.  And that is where they ended up taking him – to the hospital.

My mom and I followed in one of our cars and when we got to the hospital, they told us he wasn’t there yet.  Um yeah, he was – they left several minutes before we did, they have sirens, and when my mom looked, the ambulance was outside, empty and they were cleaning up.  Finally, a couple of minutes later, she called for us and told us where to go.  When we got back there, my dad already seemed to be doing better.  He was much more alert and was not having any more seizures.  I don’t know if they just stopped or if they had to give him something to make them stop.

But the nurses and doctor came in and checked him out and bandaged all of his scrapes up.  I’m sure the bandage on top of his head is not going to be pleasant to remove.  Tape + Hair = OUCH.  The doctor said that he didn’t seem to have any problems moving and didn’t have any signs of concussion – no dizziness or nausea, so he didn’t think a CT scan or anything would be necessary, but they wanted to keep and eye on him for a while and just see how he did.  Well, he seemed to be doing fine, except he already had back problems, did some acrobatics tonight, and then the bed was really uncomfortable, so he was in some pain.  But he went to sit up at one point and said he got really dizzy and felt like he was going to pass out.  So we called the nurse and they started monitoring his pressure even more.  At one point, it bottomed out at 50-something/40-something.

Now, low blood pressure has NEVER been a problem for my dad.  If anything, it’s been high blood pressure.  In fact, he was on meds for it.  They kept an eye on it, but it still stayed really low and finally did some bloodwork.  But they didn’t find anything wrong with it.  The doctor said that meant no signs of internal bleeding.  So they would just have him lay down and keep an eye on it.  After a while, he seemed to be doing okay, and his blood pressure was back up to 90-something/60-something, which the doctor said was doable.  He asked my dad if he still had dizziness and my dad said no, so they decided to try and sit him up slowly and then maybe would send him home.  Um, yeah, didn’t happen like that.

He got dizzy again, blood pressure dropped again, and now he is a (hopefully very temporary) resident of their new Cardiac Care Unit.

We had gotten to the hospital at about 8:00 or shortly thereafter.  (Keep in mind that I haven’t eaten yet….)  At about 11:45, I was one ravenous, unhappy (still crappy feeling remember), exhausted camper.  I finally broke down and went and asked the nurse if the nearest vending machine was the one near the cafeteria (ah, yes, I am pretty familiar with this hospital), and she was like “why, what do you need?  A drink?”  I replied that it had been a really long time since I had eaten and was hungry.  Her response?  “I can get you a sandwich.  Does anyone else want one?  Are you thirsty?”  It was really nice of her – of course, we’re waiting to see if it shows up on the bill.  This is what she brought me:

Talk about being prepared.  I have to admit that I have been pretty impressed with their new ER (some of you might remember my visit in February of last year for the fingertip to the mandolin slicer incident).  I ate the sandwich, the cheese, and a few of the chips.  My mom ate most of the chips and neither of us touched the pudding.  The nurse did also bring these for my mom, just in case she got hungry, too:

I know – odd that I’m taking pics here, but seriously at this point, I had to have something to do other than watch my dad try and sleep.  At one am, they finally started getting him ready to be moved upstairs to a room:

Only to get us up there and have a nurse come running after us as we got to the room, holding a phone and saying that he has to go back downstairs, because they forgot the CT the doctor decided he needed – just to make sure.  Of course, I’m glad that they went ahead and decided to do that.  But that meant going back downstairs and waiting for him to have that done:

I have to say that I was extremely impressed with the nurse that took care of us (the woman that brought us the food and even brought me a blanket at one point) in the ER.  She was very caring and it was obvious that she was concerned.  When we came back down for the CT scan, she must have told the woman 5 times to make sure that he didn’t sit up and made sure that the woman understood that.  I appreciated that care. I’m actually planning on writing the hospital to praise her.

Finally, we got him up to his room and I have to say that I am pretty darn impressed with the room itself.  It is a pretty new cardiac unit that they just built last year, I believe.  The rooms are very large singles, with big flat screen TVs on the walls, recliner chairs with pull out reading lamps from the walls and they each have a pull-out couch in case someone wants to spend the night.

Both my mom and I ended up coming home, but we’re both a bit concerned.  The nurse seemed fairly young and while she claimed to have a lot of cardiac experience, she has about NO experience with an epileptic.  Which really isn’t all that surprising.  One tip for anyone who isn’t:  a person having a seizure can’t swallow their tongue.  It’s just not possible.  Don’t EVER stick something into the mouth of someone having a seizure.  And she actually asked him if he has problems with swallowing his tongue.  So my mom just explained that all you can do is let the person ride it out and make sure that there isn’t anything around them that they can hurt themselves on if they move.  His meds are also so precise and so extensive, that we’re also a bit concerned about that, as well.  But my mom went over it with her several times and is planning on going back first thing in the morning.  For me, I want to, but it depends on how I feel.

I’m still feeling crummy, and it’s now 4:25 in the morning.  We got home about an hour ago.  So we’ll see.  I’ll keep you guys posted on how he’s doing.  Me? I’m absolutely certain he’s going to be fine.

Food-wise, I’m planing on staying to “the plan” today.  Of course, I used a few extra flex points than I had planned last night with that sandwich, but life happens.  Today, I’m going to stick to it.  I’m not seeing the treadmill thing happening today, though, so I’m pretty resigned to having to start over at day one.  I’m okay with it, because I know I will continue on.

It truly is a miracle that my dad is as okay as he is.  We have got to do something, but I just don’t know what.  Moving isn’t an option.  Our only option is really to build on a bedroom and bathroom (no workable rooms to convert on our ground floor and no bathrooms on our ground floor), but that is entirely too freaking expensive.  But we’ve got to figure something out, because this cannot happen again.

So that’s it in a nutshell.  In my next post, I’ll share what craziness I was working on before my dad fell.

Post from Uncovering Pamela

What a day, What a day

I had a very low-key Thanksgiving day.  My parents and I spent most of the day watching Bones, Season 3.  Then my mom went to my grandma’s house while I stayed home with my dad.  He had accidentally messed up his medications and their dose times that morning and wasn’t feeling at the top of his game.  He was worried that he would start having bad seizures, so decided to stay home.  Since my mom didn’t want to leave him home alone, I got to stay with him.  Of course, that didn’t keep me from eating too much. 

Yup, food-wise, I blew it.  Oh well.  Today is a new day and I’m re-dedicating myself (again).  It’s actually getting pretty pathetic right about now.

We went to see “The Blind Side” on Saturday and while I really enjoyed the movie it literally had me in tears.  Well, not really the movie itself.  I guess you could say the theater had me in tears.  Throughout the stuff that they play before the previews (the ads, etc.), I was fine.  As soon as they started playing the previews, I swear to God the sound skyrocketed to ear-blistering decibels.  Literally, I thought my ears were going to bleed.  It felt like someone was jabbing an icepick at my eardrums.  Yet everyone else around me seemed fine with it.

My mom said that it did seem kind of loud, but bearable.  Not to me, though.  I’m practically in tears thinking about it.  I first tried stuffing napkins in my ears.  Didn’t work.  Finally, my mom found some kleenex in her purse (unused, thank God!) and that let me get through the movie.  And before you ask, I seriously did contemplate going to complain, but like I said, it didn’t seem to bother anyone else, and I was afraid that they’d turn it down too far and then people would bitch.

When I was diagnosed with patulous eustachian tube, I was also diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease.  I don’t think my case is really bad, but I do have some of the symptoms, including some hearing loss in my right ear.  Which is kind of ironic, because while I have problems hearing certain tones, I also have a major problem with really loud sounds sometimes.  As witnessed by my experience this weekend.

I would recommend the movie though.  I liked it!  There are a ton in the theaters that I want to see, but there just isn’t enough time!  I do know that while I had no problems when I saw “New Moon” last week and this hasn’t happened before, I will definitely carry an extra pair of earplugs in my purse next time – just in case.

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Crying at the Movies

As you can see, I am still alive! I made it through the swine flu.  It took me about a week to get through the worst of it, but even now, a couple of weeks later, I’m still not feeling 100%.  My cough is gradually disappearing – it’s practically nothing now – but I still get tired extremely easily and I’ve been fighting a sore throat this week.  I have so much drainage (TMI, I know) in my throat that that might be the cause of the soreness.  If it doesn’t get better, I’ll have to go back to the doctor.  Luckily, my parents are still flu-free.

I still have a job and haven’t been written up for going over my vacation days – that I know of.  My boss did say that she talked to the head of HR and explained my situation, but I won’t find out until my next review (next summer) whether it will affect my evaluation or not.

Unfortunately, on the weight front, mine just keeps creeping (skyrocketing?) up.  I’ve been in a rough, rough place for the past several months and getting the swine flu just dropped me right over the edge (some may say on my head).    It’s sad, because I’m finding myself in a very familiar place of not wanting to get together with family and friends.  The weight gain is embarrassing.  But ah, I’m sure some of you are familiar with that feeling.  If only relosing the weight were as easy regaining the weight.  I’m a bit disgusted with myself (a bit?!).

On a happier note, today is my dad’s 60th birthday!  I’m so happy for him.  His birthday is especially meaningful to my mom and I because of his chronic epilepsy.  You may remember me writing about it before, but we have had several scary moments because of his epilepsy over the years (including ER and ICU visits).  My mom and I were talking about it on Sunday and she told me that several years ago he said he didn’t think he would ever make it to 60.  I’m so thankful he was wrong.  Yup, it’s a pretty special day for a pretty special guy.

I’ve thought of posting on here often over the past few weeks, but I just haven’t really had much to say, nor the energy with which to say it.  Hopefully I’ll be able to beat whatever it is that’s tearing me down soon.

Post from Uncovering Pamela

I’m Still Alive

The swine flu has hit home – more particularly, my home – even more particularly, me.  I started getting a very slight cough Friday night.  By Sunday morning, I barely had the energy to get out of bed.  I slept all day Sunday and called my doctor at about 11am on Monday.  Luckily, my doctor’s office has extended hours on Mondays, so they were able to get me an appointment at 7pm last night.  I slept all the rest of the day until my appointment.

At my doctor’s appointment, they gave me a flu test, and unfortunately, I tested positive for the Type A flu.  They said at this time of year, it is almost certain to be of the h1n1 type.  Even though it was over 48 hrs since my symptoms presented themselves, they started me on Tamiflu anyway in the hopes that it would get me past the contagious part and back to work a bit sooner.  The doctor also told me that I would have to be off work at least today and tomorrow.  It depends on if my fever goes down and stays down (unmedicated) whether I can go back on Thursday.

The worst part (other than the fact that I feel like crap) is that I used my last vacation/sick day on Monday and my company has a zero tolerance policy on this.  So the world’s most perfect employee (moi of course) is going to get written up in her file.  Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do about it at this point.  I’m sure I’ll be more concerned when I’m more alert.

Hope everyone is happy and healthy in your lives!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Swine Flu Hits Home

On the other hand, I’m already feeling a bit more myself in some ways.  In fact, I felt better tonight than I have in several weeks.  I still have quite a bit of sinus pain, but even that was a bit better.  But for example:

• Yesterday and today, I took the same amount of food to work as I have been, but actually ended up throwing some of it away on both days.  I’ve still been a bit hungry, but just haven’t felt like eating anymore!!  This is definitely already a major improvement as before I started going off the medicine, I was practically eyeing my post-its as a potential snack.
• I visited some old friends!  The stairs in my work building!  For the first time in a long time, I climbed the stairs.  I tried it about a month ago, I think, and couldn’t make it more then three flights before I wanted to sit down and cry.  Tonight, even though I’m still horrendously out of shape, I was able to climb 13 floors and run down 25.  This is major, you guys!  The mere fact that I got out of my cubicle and went into the stairwell is an improvement.

So I’m still encouraged.  I just hope that the new med can keep my panic/anxiety under control.  Keep your fingers crossed and I’ll keep you posted. 

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Some Old Friends

First, I got my oil changed yesterday and since they topped off the air in my tires, they don’t squeal anymore.  They still need to be replaced, and fairly soon, but at least it’s not as immediate as I was thinking.  If only everything was such a quick fix!  Guess I should check my tire pressure a bit more often, huh? 

Unfortunately, my computer hasn’t been such a quick and easy fix.  I cleaned out the cooling fan on it – even opened up the bottom and really got inside (crazy how much dust was in there) – and it’s still shutting down.  My next step is to actually take the unit out and make sure all of the dust is out of there.  Then on to a couple of other options.

We have also been having major issues with our Internet connection from our provider.  It’s been so sporadic over the past couple of weeks that we’ve about had it.

Now the good part – well, kind of.  I had my doctor’s appointment this morning, and as I said yesterday, it was with a doctor that I’d never seen before.  I LOVE HIM!  Okay, that may be a bit strong, but I like him a WHOLE lot more than my primary care doctor.  So I think I will go to him again on my next visit.

First, his nurse was fantastic.  So nice and welcoming.  I’m always nervous at doctor’s visits, especially if it’s the first time I’ve seen them, but she put me almost totally at ease.  She asked if I’d ever met him before and when I said no, she told me not to worry and that I’d like him.  She was right.

I had looked up his picture online and was expecting this big, tall guy.  Um, I was a bit surprised when he walked in.  I think I’m twice his size in height and twice his size around.  Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the idea.

I first told him about the sinus issues and he checked me out.  I definitely have a sinus infection, so he has put me on an antibiotic that I will start with dinner tonight.  A friend of mine also suggested making a tea with fresh ginger root and I might try that this weekend, too.  Until then, I’m a bundle of pitiful agony.

Then that is where the BEST part happened.  I started to tell him that I needed a refill on my prescription (the one I’ve mentioned to you guys before), but that I was having some concerns.  As soon as I said crazy hunger and insane weight gain, and before I could even finish, he says, “yup, I absolutely guarantee to you that’s the medication you’re on.”  So I’m not crazy!  I was right!  It’s not just a total lack of willpower on my part!  Now, I’m not saying that it hasn’t had something to do with it, but it’s nice to know and have it verified that there were some alternative forces at work here.

I went on to explain some of the other symptoms/problems I’ve been having and he just nodded and said, “yup.  That’s all possible with that medication.”  Thank you, Jesus, a doctor who gets it.  And he had an immediate alternative to suggest for the problem, unlike my other doctor!  My other doctor pretty much just threw his hands up in the air and made it seem like this current medication was my last resort since the others hadn’t worked for me and that I would just need to learn to live with the side effects if I wanted any relief.  This doctor told me about the things he would normally prescribe and then explained why he wouldn’t prescribe them for me (such as the possibility for weight gain, etc.).

The drug I’ve been taking is for anxiety, but is also an antidepressant.  It has helped my anxiety a bit, but it’s really still there, and it has also actually brought me down a bit (a lot).  I haven’t been enjoying some of the things that I used to enjoy.  The best thing about the new medication he is putting me on is that it isn’t a mood stabilizer or antidepressant and shouldn’t have any of the side effects that I’ve been experiencing such as hunger, fatigue, weight gain, etc.  He said while not originally created for this purpose, it is often used to help people in the short term with performance anxiety (not that kind – if you have a dirty mind like me – but of the stage fright variety) and in the long term to help people with general panic/anxiety problems (which is me).

He immediately recognized that I seem to be really sensitive to medications and it is one of the reasons he picked this particular drug.  He also said that if it it doesn’t work, then he has several other alternatives (see! not giving up on me!).

I just liked that he seemed to actually be listening to what I was saying – not just saying “uh-huh” like my other doctor.  He had immediate suggestions and conclusions as to the problems I was having and seemed familiar with what I was talking about.   He was willing to explore other options and didn’t just give up like my other doctor.  Overall, he was knowledgeable and confident, yet friendly and attentive.  Exactly what a doctor should be.  And he likes and has read all of the Harry Potter books.  I mean, seriously, how can I go wrong? 

So I’m really optimistic/hopeful right now.  I just need to get myself weaned off this other med – hopefully without too many withdrawal issues.  He’s taking me down off of it slowly over a couple of weeks, but I begin the new stuff tonight.  Keep your fingers crossed, and hopefully I’ll be back to my old self within a couple of months (and yes, I think that’s a good thing!). 

Not much planned for this weekend.  If I’m feeling okay in the morning, I might go see the Transformers movie.  Hope you all have a spectacular weekend!

PS – check out this crazy grape stem!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

WHOOHOO!

So this week, things aren’t just raining down on me. They’re pouring. And I’m not talking about water from the sky.

First, my laptop has decided to be a pain in the ass. After I reformatted the hard drive a couple of weeks ago, it started running pretty great again, but now it is constantly shutting itself down. After doing some research online, I have a few things to check on to see if it’s going to be salvageable. I certainly don’t have the money for a new computer right now.

Second, my car desperately needs new tires (we’re talking squealing at every turn) and probably needs new brakes, as well. I hope to get the tires taken care of this weekend…somehow.

Third, I’ve been having a lot of sinus pressure/pain lately, and as of last night, my left ear now feels all clogged. So that means a doctor’s appointment in the morning. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to be an off-balance throbbing mess at work tonight. I tried to get in today, but they were all booked and my regular doctor is out of the office tomorrow. Luckily, they were able to get me in to see another doctor in his practice, though.

I also hope to talk to him about the issues I’m having with the medication I’m on (not the least of which is the never-ending hunger), so we’ll see what he has to say. I need a refill anyway. I’m actually hoping that I’ll end up liking this guy better than my regular doctor. If so, I may make the switch to him. Wish me luck. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Raining

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Epilepsy