As you all know, I’ve been struggling for a long while now.
For some of my new readers:
I joined Weight Watchers under their flex plan in 2006. Under that plan, I lost weight pretty rapidly.
About a year later, they changed the flex plan a bit and I continued to lose weight, though not as quickly.
I still proceeded to lose over 160 pounds and keep it off until about the middle/end of 2009.
I did this entirely using their online e-tools, never having been to a meeting.
I’ve gained a little over half of what I lost back, even though I had a period [ ... ]
Archive for the Category »Psychology «
29
Mar 2011
As you all know, I’ve been struggling for a long while now.
For some of my new readers:
I joined Weight Watchers under their flex plan in 2006. Under that plan, I lost weight pretty rapidly.
About a year later, they changed the flex plan a bit and I continued to lose weight, though not as quickly.
I still proceeded to lose over 160 pounds and keep it off until about the middle/end of 2009.
I did this entirely using their online e-tools, never having been to a meeting.
I’ve gained a little over half of what I lost back, even though I had a period [ ... ]
Category: Psychology, Weight Watchers / Weight Loss
6 Comments
23
Feb 2011
Hi guys. Happy Wednesday. I thought about doing a Wordless Wednesday post today, but, well, you know me. Besides, I’ve had way too many wordless Wednesdays already.
Today is day two. You would be so proud of me. Yesterday, I tracked what I ate ALL day long. And I came in at only a few points over what I’d really wanted to use. Not bad! I would say that’s a MAJOR improvement. Today, I’ve only had one meal so far, but it has been tracked.
I’m even prouder about another choice I made last night. For the past two days, [ ... ]
Category: Psychology, Weight Watchers / Weight Loss
3 Comments
16
Feb 2011
Okay, take deep breaths. The world isn’t ending, I promise. Hell hasn’t frozen over. You aren’t seeing double. I am posting a second blog post in a single day. Just happen to be in a blogging mood today, I guess. And it’s my third one this week!!
I’m having a really good day today. I’ve been lucky enough to have a few of those lately thanks to some pretty good friends. But unfortunately, I’ve been in a major funk that I just can’t seem to pull myself out of. I don’t think I’ve been this depressed since my brother died. I [ ... ]
Category: Psychology, Weight Watchers / Weight Loss
6 Comments
04
Jan 2011
This is the time of year when most people are considering their New Year’s Resolutions. As in: are these truly things that are possible to strive for and accomplish or are they things that were merely dreamed up in a drunken fit on New Year’s Eve?
I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve always considered them to be fairly ridiculous and pointless. I mean, how many people actually stick to them? The couple of times I’ve tried in my life, I certainly never did. And if it isn’t something that means enough to me to try at any other [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
3 Comments
21
Sep 2010
So I’m up another 1.2 pounds this week. I was actually quite a bit surprised that it wasn’t more considering we ate out practically every meal over the weekend. Sadly, over the course of September, I have completely undone all of the work and progress that I made over the course of August (have gained more than 9 pounds in the last three weeks and September isn’t even over yet). I’m exactly where I was at the beginning of August. And thoroughly disgusted with myself on top of it.
I’ve written about these topics so many times in the past, so [ ... ]
12
Sep 2010
I’m not sure what to say. The last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult for me.
Weight-wise, I’ve been eating everything in sight. It’s not attractive, and I’m pretty disgusted with myself. It may seem counterproductive for this blog, but I really don’t want to discuss how much I’ve gained in the past two weeks. It sucks.
I’ve really been struggling with a lot of issues in my life. I’ve never been formally diagnosed, but I believe I’ve struggled with depression through a great portion of my life – especially high school and college. You all know that I love books, [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
9 Comments
02
Sep 2010
Contrary to my last several posts, I am not always happy-go-lucky, cheerful Pamela. I know, I know, it comes as a HUGE shock to you, doesn’t it? I hope none of you passed out from the news.
In fact, again contrary to my post of Tuesday, my mood over the past couple of days can only be described as foul. I’ve done my best to keep it from affecting other people, and most of my attitude (except for when directed towards stupid people – and then only internally) has been directed back towards myself.
It’s not so much that I’ve [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
3 Comments
26
Aug 2010
You may want to get comfy – kick back, relax – this is going to be a long one.
For the past many, many years, I remembered a friend of mine once said something along the lines of “women are at their best in their 30s.” I’ve always held that in the back of my mind, and when I turned 30, I decided that that was going to be the case for me. I was going to do my best to make them the best freaking years of my life.
I’ve mentioned many times that I’ve been shut down for [ ... ]
Category: Life in General, Psychology
4 Comments
23
Aug 2010
Okay, I’m probably going to regret this post in the morning, but I’m seriously starting to freak out over Step 2 in my Project Phobia. It’s 12:15 am right now and my heart is racing, my fingers are trembling, and I’m about on the verge of tears.
And I feel like I complete idiot. This is so humiliating.
I’ve planned for step 2 to take place tomorrow (Tuesday) morning sometime. Yes, I actually plan on being out of bed. Lord help me not chicken out. I keep cycling through phases of – this is no. big. deal. Just do it. – and [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
9 Comments
20
Aug 2010
Phobias suck. They really really suck.
I should know. I’ve had one for more than 20 years. For those 20 years it has plagued me….shadowing my every footstep. Luckily, it was one that I didn’t come into contact with on a day-to-day basis, but when it did or when I started thinking about having to face it, then well, I would pretty much shut down. If I didn’t, I’d end up in a fetal position crying for my mommy.
No, I’m not going to name it here. And no it’s not spiders (oh how I wish it were).
But I am [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
2 Comments
19
Aug 2010
The other day, I put out a request for any questions that you guys might have about me or what I think or anything that you would like to see me blog about. I received this in an email:
In one of your Aug posts, you asked if anyone had questions. I’m new to the blog so you may have already covered this.
Noticed you got down to ~179 but then gained almost 90 lbs back to ~268. Now you’re on the way back down (well done). Wondering whether when you’re on the heavy side or slim side, [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
8 Comments
10
Aug 2010
Hi folks! I’m sure most of you have heard of Jack Sh*t’s W.I.D.T.H. picture project by now. He asked us to tell “Why I Do This Here.” Or why we’re on the track to healthy-er living and/or why here online. He asked us to tell it in a picture or pictures.
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I finally submitted mine. I really really struggled with what to say. I have so so many reasons for being here and for being on this journey that it was hard to just pick one. So I settled on something [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
2 Comments
01
Aug 2010
Hi all! I hope you’ve had a great weekend. For the most part, mine was pretty darn good if I do say so myself. Definitely one of the most “social” weekends I’ve had in a really long time. Something to do everyday. Today, I went to lunch with a coworker that has become a really good friend and we sat at the restaurant for almost four hours!! Luckily, there was no shortage of tables, so we didn’t feel bad about hogging one. I really had a fantastic time. And seriously, we talked about darn near almost everything.
I’ll stop here and [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
8 Comments
20
May 2010
Okay, guys, I’m putting out an APB. I don’t know where she went, if someone took her, or if she’s running amok somewhere, but Pamela is missing.
For the past two weeks, I haven’t wanted to eat.
Let me repeat that.
I.
Haven’t.
Wanted.
To.
Eat.
Yes, me. Me of the glorious food addiction. Me who looks at food like it’s heroin or crack. Me who would spend 23 and 3/4 hours a day gorging herself if she could.
But I just haven’t been interested. It’s the oddest thing. Of course, I’m not expecting it to last, but I’m baffled. I mean, at dinner tonight, I [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
5 Comments
18
May 2010
I have to thank Rebecca for bringing me back to the purpose of my blog. Over the weekend, I posted about our trip to the Steamboat Arabia exhibit and mentioned that when it was discovered, it was discovered underneath a farm field in Kansas. Hopefully Rebecca won’t mind, but I’m going to quote her here:
“…under a farm field in Kansas.”
Now THAT is something. Hard to believe there was so much great stuff hidden under a layer of dirt!
Kinda makes me think about the good stuff still waiting to be found under my, er, fat layer. LOL. [ ... ]
Category: Psychology
2 Comments
