First, I had Mexican (chips/salsa, grilled chicken fajitas with sour cream and guacamole) for lunch and then the leftovers for dinner on Saturday.  I snacked way more than I should have late Saturday night – not crazy off-plan things (like ice cream), but definitely more than I should have had and didn’t count it.  Sunday, I had a bagel thin pizza (just a homemade pizza using a bagel thin) and a doughnut for lunch before the game.  I didn’t eat anything at all at the game (victory!), but then had Sonic for dinner, and had two more doughnuts over the course of Sunday evening/night.  On Monday, I was back on track.  So you see, my gain could have been much worse.

Second, remember how I was worried about last week’s huge loss being a fluke?  This weigh in (in a weird twisted way) combined with what I ate over the weekend, makes me think that it really wasn’t a fluke (don’t tell me if you don’t see it that way, ’cause that’s my story and I’m sticking to it).

Third, well, I’m just not bothered by it.  I know that this is a new week and hopefully if I don’t let it “derail” me, I’ll show a loss next week.

Next, to be totally honest, I haven’t been officially tracking my points for the last week or so.  I’ve kind of been trying to follow my own body’s instincts of when it’s hungry and such and mentally tracking the points.  I know that some days I was over my points, but I also know that on other days I was under my points.

One of my favorite things to make when I get home from work now is this skillet thingy.  Not quite sure what to call it.  I’ve been throwing in a bunch of veggies, a teaspoon of olive oil, some balsamic vinegar, a little Mrs. Dash, and either shrimp (surprisingly my favorite) or some naked (unbreaded) chicken nuggets that I got at Costco.  Here is a picture of last night’s version and it was pretty yummy if I do say so myself (and I do):

So here’s to a new week!

I know I owe a couple of you emails, and promise to get to them soon! Just been kind of wiped out lately – haven’t been sleeping too well.

And check out tonight’s sunset!  The blue rays are totally natural and not a product of the photograph.  If you look closely in the upper left corner (of the enlarged version you can see by clicking), you can also see a star!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh In & New Dinner Obsession

So that’s how I’ve been spending my time.  As far as being on plan, I mentioned that I was pretty much doing a half-assed job of being on plan Tuesday-Thursday.  Friday and Saturday, I was pretty far off plan, and even Sunday wasn’t the best.  But I could have done a LOT worse and have in the past several weeks.

But apparently even a half-assed try can make a difference and is better than no try at all.  I’ll have to remember that when I think, “well, I screwed up.  Might as well go all out and just eat everything in sight.”  The fact that I lost 4.9 pounds this week is proof positive of how much of a difference it can make and of just how far off plan I had fallen in the past several weeks.

I’ve been completely on plan yesterday and today and have my fingers crossed for the rest of the week.  This week has proven to me the importance of allowing myself “off plan meals,” and of keeping those just to “meals,” and not days, weeks, or months.

I tried to find some video footage on YouTube to show you of “Supernatural,” but a lot of them contained spoilers or wouldn’t have much meaning without seeing the show.  So no videos for it, but you can search for it on YouTube yourselves if you’re interested. 

I did see that OneRepublic has a video out now for one of my favorite songs off of their latest album.  I don’ t think the video is the best, but the song just makes me happy inside:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5tin-U9oJ8

So hope you’re having a happy week!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Even a half-assed try is better than no try at all

Not surprisingly, I gained.  But I only gained 1.1 pounds!  Considering that I ate like the cookie monster from Saturday night through Sunday night, it’s truly a testament to how much walking I did Friday and Saturday that I didn’t gain more.  I’m sure the fact that I did fantastically well food-wise on Friday and most of Saturday helped, as well.  Of course, knowing that I probably would have had a huge loss if I hadn’t gone nutso Saturday night, is something I’d rather not think about.  (We’re talking room service with pizza AND chicken fingers shared between my mom and I – both were thoroughly heavenly).

As a matter of fact, my mom lost six pounds while we were gone!  Six!  I’m happy for her, but geesh.

I know I still owe you all some more info about my trip and pics, and believe me, I’m dying to share.  Hopefully I’ll be able to get some of it up in the next couple of days.  Things at work have been crazy – as they almost always are anymore.

Since I’ve been back from this trip, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.  In my last post, I mentioned the trip to California that I took about a year ago.  When I went on that trip, I had already started to slip up, but was hovering around only a 15 lbs gain.  Of course, I felt huge.  But when I got back from that trip was when it all went downhill and I started skiing towards that 80+ lb gain.

In heading home from this trip, I started feeling kind of down, and remembered that I felt extremely down when I came back from last year’s trip.  And it made me realize something.

I’m constantly talking about how amazing life is with so many opportunities and exciting experiences out there to be had, but rarely do I ever take advantage of it.  At least not to the fullest that I could.  Of course, money is always an issue.  But when I’m on these trips, I could be going on two hours of sleep, and I’m still ready to literally jump out of bed at 5am and get the day started.  I’m so excited to see what fun and new and interesting things the day has in store for me.

When I came back from my CA trip last year, I was sad that I had waited so long to visit.  I was so excited to see in person all of the great places that I’d heard about all of my life and was amazed at how easy it was to hop on a plane and be right there.  As long as you can pay for it, the world is your doorstep.  It also made me think about how I had had a chance to visit my friends when they lived out there a couple of years before (yeah, they move around a lot), but I didn’t, because of my weight.  It was right about the time that I was at my highest.  One more example of how my weight has kept me from doing things.

I almost didn’t go on my DC trip, once again because of my weight.  And I almost let a lot of truly incredible experiences, not just the “Lbs.” event, slip through my fingers.  It’s embarrassing to be overweight.  I hate even being in public sometimes.   And if I’m feeling that way at my current weight, imagine how I felt at my highest.  I was so excited to see so many national treasures, but was terrified at the thought of having my pic taken in front of any of them.  But you know what?  I forced myself to get over it, and I went, and had an incredible time.  When I think of the fabulous things I saw, people I met, and experiences I had, it makes me sad to think that I almost didn’t have the courage to go.  Sure I’m not happy with the way I look in a lot of the pictures that were taken of me, but that doesn’t take away the experiences that I had.  And in looking at those pics, I’m going to try and remember how I felt when looking at that monument, or shaking that person’s hand, or seeing the documents that created our country.

But back to the idea of how on these trips, I find myself wanting to leap out of bed.  I don’t have that in my day-to-day life.  Most people don’t.  But that’s what I want.  I want a life where I’m literally jumping out of bed with excitement to see what the day has in store.  Last time, I came home and settled into my old routine, getting more and more depressed at the feeling of divide between the excitement I felt on my trip and the drudgery of my daily life.

I felt that again this time, but as of Monday at dinner, I’ve nipped the eating insanity in the bud and I’m trying to do some active thinking about where I am and what I want from my life.  And how to get where I am to meet what I want.  I currently have absolutely no clue, but this time I’m trying to make some positive changes instead of allowing myself to undo all of my hard work again.  And even if nothing comes of it other than an attitude change, I know that I won’t be regaining another 80 lbs this time.

What is that now?  Reason #482 (at least) for why I may have gained back so much weight?

PS – I almost forgot to tell you that when I was talking to Carmine and Matthew, I asked them about the article that mentioned a possible DVD release of “Lbs.” by the end of the year.  They weren’t certain that that will happen, but it sounds like they have some footage that would make terrific extras on it.  I so hope they include it.  They did mention that while it isn’t available yet, there is already an option to “save” it on Netflix for when it does become available.

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh In 5/11/10

Unfortunately, several weeks ago, I was unable to find the 100 calorie packs anywhere.  Every store I went to was out of them.  They have them back in the stores now, but you see,  I haven’t needed to buy any, because I bought a bag of Baked Cheetos back when I couldn’t find them, and I’m still working on the same bag!!  Every time I’ve dipped into it, I’ve actually weighed out my portion.  Even on those weekends when I went totally off plan.  Go me!  I even bought a bag of Baked BBQ Lays and am doing the same with them, because I was craving them, and I haven’t binged on them!  Though the portion is pitifully small, so I probably won’t be buying them as often.

Anyway, as to my weigh in today.  I lost…… 3.8 pounds this week!  92.3 pounds lost.  It’s amazing what sticking to plan a couple of extra days will do.  Of course, a wee bit of that could be the fact that I cut off about an inch and a half of hair over the weekend, too.    But that can’t account for all of it!  So I’ve officially lost everything from that big gain a few weeks ago and am 1.3 pounds lower than my lowest since getting back on track.  Also, at 250.6, I’m about out of those damn 250s….AGAIN.  Unfortunately, I see myself gaining next Tuesday after my trip, but I’ve proven that I don’t have to let it derail me.

The other area in which I’m back in business is my blog.  One of the reasons that I haven’t been posting nearly as often over the past several months is because I’ve been having massive issues with my blog.  Every time I would go to add a new post or new page, my browser would lock up, so I’ve mostly been having to use old drafts to create new posts.  Talk about a pain in the ass.  But luckily, with my host company pointing me to the problem, and a bit of research, I was finally able to get it fixed today.  I’m not sure what caused the problem, and noticed that the underlying issue is still there, but at least I know how to deal with it now and keep it from getting out of control.  So I’ll be able to annoy you much better with more frequent posts now!    You know, if I’m not slacking off.

Unfortunately, I do have a couple of pieces of bad news that I have to impart today.  One is that I’ve been feeling crummy the past couple of days and have been home from work sick.  Hopefully it will get out of my system by Friday!  Speaking of, it’s supposed to be freaking 86 degrees in DC on Friday AND rain on Saturday!  Of course!!  Hopefully it won’t screw with our sightseeing.  And if it does rain, hopefully it’ll make it a bit cooler and I’ll still be able to get some decent pics somehow.  The tour should be interesting.

The other piece of bad news you may have already heard about.  It’s the flooding in middle Tennessee and Nashville, in particular.  I’ve mentioned before that I went to college down there and then I spent a couple of years after graduating there.  Overall, I really love the city and have a lot of good memories there (of course, some bad ones, too, but the good outweigh the bad for the most part).  But Nashville was the city of my dreams -- it’s where I entered the real world and grew up a bit.  Here is a great piece about how the flood has taken a back seat to some of the other (equally as important) current issues.

And here are some links to pics of the flooding:

• While I’m glad the Ryman Auditorium is safe, the Grand Ole Opry House (home of the Grand Ole Opry since 1974) was terribly flooded.  Click here for a picture.
• General pics of downtown
• Even more powerful pics of downtown Nashville.  It’s so sad.
• Flooded Nashville landmarks
• Of course, many other areas than downtown Nashville flooded.  You can easily do a search on Google if you’re interested.

And here is a special report by Keith Olberman with footage:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

And a beautiful piece:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwCGz1vSh_M

And the poor Opryland Hotel:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfL5j9ckcyo

To help, click here for the Nashville Red Cross, or Text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation on your mobile phone.

And here are even more ways to help.

These people certainly need it.

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Back in Business

How was your weekend?  Do anything fun?  I was up bright and early Saturday morning on a hunt for new workout shoes.  Unfortunately, I have big feet and pretty flat arches, so it’s not an easy proposition.  I tried several different ones on and ended up going with ones that my friend, Shawna, recommended.  They’re the Nike Air Zoom Structure Triax.  They felt incredible in the store, but after a few hours of wearing them, my feet were pretty sore.  I’m going to give them a good workout on the treadmill over the next couple of weeks and hopefully my feet will get used to them – I think it’s from the added arch support that I’m not used to.

I also bought a new digital camera.  I was afraid my old one was about on its last leg, and with the trip coming up, I wasn’t taking any chances.  I didn’t buy it on Amazon, but here is the one I got:

I’m not too sure how satisfied with it I am, as I haven’t had much chance to test it yet, but here are a couple of silly ones I’ve taken:

This one was taken with my Blackberry the other day and sums up how I’m feeling today:

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately.  Last night, I read a new screenplay that my friend Riley wrote.  I’m still so honored that she lets me read her stuff, because she’s amazing!  This one was fantastic, too!  I’m dying to see it on the big screen.  I also finished “My Lobotomy” a couple of days ago.  I’ve always been interested in psychology (which led me to get a Bachelors degree in Psychology in college), so this book was really interesting to me.

Currently, I’m reading Jeff Garlin’s book, “My Footprint.”  He talks a lot about his addiction of overeating, and it has been a quick and interesting read so far.  The only thing I haven’t liked so much is that he IS a comedian, and tends to take cracks at other overweight people.

When I finish it, I will start “Angry Fat Girls,” by Frances Kuffel.  She had lost 180+ pounds and wrote the book “Passing for Thin.”  She then apparently regained half of it.  So obviously, this is a book I think I will identify with.  And to be honest, I know that I own “Passing for Thin,” but I”m not sure if I ever got around to reading it!

As far as my eating this week, I did so-so on Tuesday/Wednesday (closer to the blah side).  On Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I did fairly excellent on my eating.  By Sunday evening, I was hating myself again, because I pretty much grazed all day Sunday.  I might have been able to justify it, if I had spent a tremendous amount of calories on something that I’d just really been craving or had been some kind of decadent opulence, but it was just grazing on stupid stuff.  I couldn’t seem to help myself and was feeling extremely discouraged and was feeling that I’m pretty much a hopeless case.

But yesterday, I was back on plan, and by last night, I forced myself to look at the big picture.  We’ve discussed before that eating badly does not make me or you a bad person.  I’m still trying to convince myself of this.  So instead, I looked at the fact that I had been perfectly on plan for the last five out of six days.  And when I stepped on the scale today, it showed a 1.8 pound loss!  I’m very happy with that.  I’m still up from last month, but I’m still happy with that.

My mission for this week:

• Keep staying within my points
• Keep drinking lots of water
• Give my new shoes (and me) a workout
• Keep trying to work on the way I sit.  I always sit with one leg bent up underneath me.  This is the way of sitting that has always felt the most natural to me.  I do it without even thinking.  Unfortunately, I am well aware how terrible this is for my circulation, and I’m determined to break the habit (though I’ve been working on this for weeks and am still doing it!).

So what are you going to work on this week?
PS – Have you guys seen this article about the Lane Bryant TV ad? Made me furious!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh In – 4/27/10

Just a quick post tonight.  I was down 2.8 on the scale today, but since I was up way more than that last week, I don’t really feel like it’s much of a success.  I’m going to just keep plodding along.

Anyone watching “The Biggest Loser”?  Are you watching tonight?  No spoilers since they showed this on the preview, but O’Neil about broke my heart tonight when he was struggling with losing his brother.  I’ve been there.  I know what he’s going through, and seriously, I almost couldn’t watch.  I wish I could give him a hug.

And I love Daris!!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh In & The Biggest Loser

So yeah, unfortunately for several months during 2009, I was off plan, but I’m still factoring those weeks in.  And unfortunately, I was up 0.5 pounds at weigh in today.  Ah, well.  You know, seriously, I can’t complain.  It’s the first time I’ve been up since 3/2/10, and it’s not even a whole pound.  And I did 53 minutes on the treadmill last night!  And Sunday was Easter! SO – I’m going to be happy with it.  It could be worse.  Believe me, I’m well aware that it could be worse – again, look at what happened in 2009!

Now, I’m not entirely thrilled with the fact that I weighed 187.9 on week 100 and am now about 64.5 pounds heavier than that, but I’m moving in the right direction again and am making progress.  That’s what matters, right?  Right?!  Right. 

Ironically, I went back and checked for what I posted on week 100 and it sounds kind of familiar.  Check it out here (it’s very short – I know, totally unlike me).

Have you guys been following the “Exposed Movement” in the weight loss blog world lately?  This guy is the most recent addition (that I’ve seen).  Go Steve!!  Words can’t express how much I admire these people for doing what they’re doing, but I’m gonna tell you right now.  Not. Gonna. Happen. Here. EVER.  I mean, I love you all, but um, NO.  This is about as “exposed” as I’m ever gonna get on here.

Do any of you all regularly check out PostSecret.com?  Have you seen this week’s postcards?  How about this one:

Talk about deeply disturbing on all kinds of fronts.  Thoughts?

And does anyone else think that airfare charges are getting out of control?  Spirit Airlines is now charging for carry-on bags.

Also, I keep mentioning the banana bread muffins that I like to make, so I thought I would share the recipe.  You can find it here, and you can also get to it via my “Food Ideas” page above.  In fact, I’m eating one right now!

Okay, that’s all I have to share today!  Hope you’re all doing great!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh In 4/6/10 – Week No. 200!

My mom’s one of my best friends in this world, so supportive, so it shouldn’t change my writing too much.

At least now she won’t look at me like I’m nuts when I’m doing things like taking pictures of Reese’s Easter Eggs at the grocery store. 

Now for the good stuff….drumroll please…..I lost:

2.7 pounds this week!!!!  Yahooo!  That means two awesome things:

• I am back to having lost 91 pounds again! (Come on 100!)
• I’ve lost a total of 10.8 lbs just in the last four weeks alone!

Now, I’m wondering when I’m going to start actually seeing it and feeling it….

Most (okay all) of you know that I was on a long sabbatical for a while.  I didn’t blog, I didn’t read blogs, I didn’t track my food, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  It was never an intentional thing.  It came on gradually.  I think I started to realize that if I cheated a bit here and there, then it didn’t really affect my weight all that much.  I got cocky.  I also started to not care as much.  I just wanted to eat.  I like eating.  I like binging.  There I said it.  I don’t like being overweight, but apparently I’ve liked eating more for most of my life.

Throughout this period of eating free-for-all, especially when I realized how quickly I was re-packing on the pounds, I kept telling myself that “this is the last day.  Tomorrow, I’m right back on it.”  And yet, tomorrow always had something new to tempt me with: more ice cream, more pizza (can I hear a collective yum?), donuts at work, an offer to go out to eat.  It was always tomorrow, and yet it was the tomorrow that never came.

My mom can attest to the fact that I constantly said, “this is the last weekend.  First thing Monday, I’m back on it.”  Well, for many months, Monday never came either.

Back when I was first fortunate enough to see the movie, “Lbs.,” which you all know I’ve been raving about, I wrote a review entitled “Monday Came” (back on 2/23/10).  At the very end of it, I said that my Monday had come.  This is what I said:

Carmine’s character, Neil, states this in the trailer: “Monday came and I started.  . . .  How many times?  It might be a thousand.  But on 1,001, I started.”

Well, today is my Monday #1,001 (give or take) and I’m starting.  I’m going to do it.

When I wrote that, I wasn’t sure if I was telling the truth or if I was just saying it to be saying it.  I had hoped that it was true, but I didn’t trust myself enough to know for sure.

Well, you know what?  My Monday DID come.  I AM doing it.  So what about you?  Has your Monday come?

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh In 3/30/10 – Monday DID Come

First, I think my body has gone into rebellion mode.  I think it’s been saying to me lately “Screw you!  I don’t care what your work hours are.  You’re going to sleep when and as much as I want you to!”  Or maybe it’s my brain.  I’m not sure.  But my sleeping the past couple of days has looked like this:

Toss.

Turn.

Repeat.

In fact, this morning I went to bed around 5:30 am.  I woke up at 8:15 am.  I didn’t fall back asleep until about noon, and then had to wake back up for work at about 2:00 pm.  ARGH!

It’s amazing that I can actually type a coherent sentence.  Or maybe I can’t and it just looks like one to my sleep-deprived eyes.

Then I left 15 minutes early for work and hit every single light red so that I ended up getting here at exactly the same time that I always do.  Don’t you hate that?  I mean, what was the point?

But I actually had to turn the air on in my car today!  It was only 70 degrees, but my black seats tend to emphasize the warmth.  I also loved that it was 70 degrees out today and there were still small piles of snow everywhere:

Work has been insane all evening, but luckily, things are starting to chill out.  (Obviously, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this!)

So now onto the important stuff.  I weighed in today at  1.7 pounds down!  I’m verra verra happy with that (sorry, I just finished a book with a Scottish guy in it).  I’ve also updated my progress chart above.  I’ve now lost a total of 88.3 pounds since I started and broke the 15 pound mark from when I recommitted at the beginning of February.  Though I think I’ve decided that after this week, I’m going to try and only focus on how much total weight I’ve lost.  I personally think that is a more important number.  It may not be the 160+ number that it was before, but 88 pounds isn’t anything to sneeze at!  (what an odd saying)  Here is what my weight chart looks like now.  I’m loving the downswing at the right, but am hoping that this doesn’t turn into a pattern.  If it does, I’m praying that the peaks get shorter and shorter each time.

I also added my earned Activity Points to my progress chart for last week.  31!!  That’s a new high for me!  My previous high was 29.

I have completed 9 days of my 21 day treadmill challenge  (43 minutes last night).  I’ve been watching “Ice Age:  Dawn of the Dinosaurs” the past couple of days.  I should finish the movie tonight.

On a very cool note, I got this in the mail today:

From the moment I got our treadmill hooked up, I was eying it with images of planks of wood and duct tape to wrangle it so that I could use my laptop on it.  Luckily, I decided to do an internet search first before breaking out the saw.  I came across this fancy item and debated for a couple of days on whether to get it, because it is kind of expensive, but I broke down and ordered it here.

So when I get home tonight, I’ll hook it up and let you know how it works.  Anyone else have one/tried one?

By the way, you may have noticed (if you visit my site) that my blogroll to the right —-> has increased tremendously.  I’ve been doing my best to update it.  If you don’t see yourself, let me know!  In my scatteredness, it’s possible I’ve left someone out and I’m sorry if I did!  I’ve also left up some people who haven’t posted in a while – I refuse to give up hope that they’ll wander back in at some point!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh In 3/23/10 and Odds ‘N Ends

I wanted to share my weigh in with you, though! I lost 3.3 pounds! That means I dropped out of a decade that I definitely didn’t want to be in. Not that I really want to be in the one I’m in now, but it’s better than the alternative!

I’ve also now lost 10.4 pounds since the end of January! I’m very happy with that because if I hadn’t gotten back on track when I did, I’m sure I would probably be up another 15 pounds at least.

So right now, I have a pleased smile on my face. Here’s to another good week – for us all!

Post from Uncovering Pamela

Weigh-in 3/9/10 – “Hell Yeah!”